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I will live for the moment when some random account just decides to scroll to the bottom of my feed and read through all the posts and then just sit there and think to themselves: "wow. this bitch is completely insane."

but can god come back from the dead? NO. but me and my children can and will and then my children will have more children until we have an army and then we will RIP you to fucking shreds

bitch i will turn my children against you and together we will destroy you and become the most powerful beings in all existence

well damn bitch it's too bad I'm not planning on having any children :)

YOU keep it up and pretty soon you'll be brought back up from hell so that I can kill you again

your stupidity is the only 'markable' thing about u

Lmfao I know who you are now. Only you'd be an idiot enough to fail to send the eye emojis ahahahaha

@augustart if you're not who I think you are I don't even wanna know

Watching someone new reading my story from beginning to end is literally the funniest thing ever. Like people, I can't even EXPLAIN how fucking hilarious it is

I can't believe my mom let me drink over 6 years underage
          
          I can't believe two small glasses of champagne got me that tipsy
          
          I can't believe I laughed for ten minutes straight at the little mouse in the hat who stole my spoon