confringos

Sorry babygirls i need to vent, so tw :P
          	
          	
          	
          	I genuinely dont like living. The thought of becoming an age of responsibility nauseates my gut. I hate school even though I barely go and trace the scars that turn 1 year old in 2 months every time it gets worse. I keep trying to remind myself that they’re ugly to stare at and relapsing is pointless but the urge grows and it grows and it stings in my heart because it’ll never be enough to silence the ache for d3ath. I think I was cursed into existence, possibly or likely. My mom couldn’t abort me because she didn’t realise I was pregnant, she’d taken the pill for months and was pretty weak to have a baby but somehow after 3 months she realised I was in her stomach. 
          	
          	Somtimes I want to blame my mom and say it’s her fault my life sucks and having me was the most selfish she’d ever been yet I can’t. She had no choice. Maybe if she’d realised I was the 0.01% chance of becoming pregnant earlier I’d be released of this burden called life and instead nothing. I don’t offer much. I don’t offer anything really— I’m not good or bad, not pretty nor am I really talented. I’ve considered taking my life way too much way too early but I’ve never gotten the guts to, I’m a coward on that space. I cut off my friends and family because the exhaustion seeps through me every time someone talks to me. I’m exhausted and exhausting. I’m surprised I even have friends. If I do. 
          	
          	I’d like to think I was a curse. Maybe I’ve wronged someone in my past life, or maybe my mom did to be cursed with me. I’d like to be d3ad but no truck seems to hit me no matter how many times I’ve crossed the road recklessly or without looking. I always seem to pass d3ath with a fraction of a second and maybe that’s the thing I hate most about myself. 
          	
          	Anyways, I’m gonna log off for a bit. Regain myself and hopefully d13 but I cant really wish that so to please everyone I hope I dont. Supposedly.

doetapes

this message may be offensive 
@confringos ,, loon my love I can't imagine how all of this feels like, but one thing I want to tell you is that I love you so fucking much. you are genuinely one of the best things that has happened to me. you're kind, beautiful, talented and I know how hard it is to see that but trust me you are.
          	  
          	  you're not cursed loon, you're in pain, pain you don't deserve to go through because you're one of the sweetest souls I've ever met. 
          	  
          	  I know I can't stop you, but please, don't do anything to harm yourself or worse. I know it's hard, and I can't promise it'll get easier but what I swear on is that it will get better. I love you so much loon
• Reply

fairiie

@confringos u are not a curse and you deserve to be alive, please don’t harm yourself!!!!!! you are so loved and if u ever need a space to talk let me know
• Reply

confringos

Sorry babygirls i need to vent, so tw :P
          
          
          
          I genuinely dont like living. The thought of becoming an age of responsibility nauseates my gut. I hate school even though I barely go and trace the scars that turn 1 year old in 2 months every time it gets worse. I keep trying to remind myself that they’re ugly to stare at and relapsing is pointless but the urge grows and it grows and it stings in my heart because it’ll never be enough to silence the ache for d3ath. I think I was cursed into existence, possibly or likely. My mom couldn’t abort me because she didn’t realise I was pregnant, she’d taken the pill for months and was pretty weak to have a baby but somehow after 3 months she realised I was in her stomach. 
          
          Somtimes I want to blame my mom and say it’s her fault my life sucks and having me was the most selfish she’d ever been yet I can’t. She had no choice. Maybe if she’d realised I was the 0.01% chance of becoming pregnant earlier I’d be released of this burden called life and instead nothing. I don’t offer much. I don’t offer anything really— I’m not good or bad, not pretty nor am I really talented. I’ve considered taking my life way too much way too early but I’ve never gotten the guts to, I’m a coward on that space. I cut off my friends and family because the exhaustion seeps through me every time someone talks to me. I’m exhausted and exhausting. I’m surprised I even have friends. If I do. 
          
          I’d like to think I was a curse. Maybe I’ve wronged someone in my past life, or maybe my mom did to be cursed with me. I’d like to be d3ad but no truck seems to hit me no matter how many times I’ve crossed the road recklessly or without looking. I always seem to pass d3ath with a fraction of a second and maybe that’s the thing I hate most about myself. 
          
          Anyways, I’m gonna log off for a bit. Regain myself and hopefully d13 but I cant really wish that so to please everyone I hope I dont. Supposedly.

doetapes

this message may be offensive 
@confringos ,, loon my love I can't imagine how all of this feels like, but one thing I want to tell you is that I love you so fucking much. you are genuinely one of the best things that has happened to me. you're kind, beautiful, talented and I know how hard it is to see that but trust me you are.
            
            you're not cursed loon, you're in pain, pain you don't deserve to go through because you're one of the sweetest souls I've ever met. 
            
            I know I can't stop you, but please, don't do anything to harm yourself or worse. I know it's hard, and I can't promise it'll get easier but what I swear on is that it will get better. I love you so much loon
• Reply

fairiie

@confringos u are not a curse and you deserve to be alive, please don’t harm yourself!!!!!! you are so loved and if u ever need a space to talk let me know
• Reply