Hi! I am Apollowrites.
I found your story on an FB group page for TML. As an aspiring writer too, I commend you for your bravery to share this story to the world. Your synopsis is good, it will definitely catch a reader's attention, that's why I gave it a chance. It did not disappoint, but there are things I want to point out, as a constructive criticism.
1. The inconsistency on your punctuations.
Keep an eye on your punctuations too because they might be smaller than letters, it could really impact the tone of the story/narration.
2. The use of upper and lowercase.
I know that this might be a raw draft, but to make your story more appealing to the readers, I advice that you can maintain the use of uppercase letters when starting a dialogue or a sentence.
3. Consistency is the key. Stick on what you have in mind.
Your story have so much potential, and it could be really refined if you will continue on writing it in a steady and consistent manner. You can also read some english and tagalog novels to help and improve your vocabulary more. (like me!)
4. Lasty, be your own reader.
I suggest that before posting a chapter, you can proofread it on your own, spot the mistakes, scenes you want to remove, narrations you want to refine or improve, as many times as possible until you are satisfied as a reader.
I really enjoyed reading your story, I hope to see more of it in the future!
Reads, votes, and comments dust for youuu! ✨✨✨
