cowword

Oh my god oh my god why the fuck did I say these things starting to hate myself more but here’s an update. I’m Pansexual and I’m genderfluid I’m in a better state of mind and mantle health tomorrow’s my birthday and I’m turning 14  and my parents accept me as gay and so does my hole family sometimes things DO get better and it did and I’m glad I’m okay now but here’s one thing you need to know about my most recent story that I wrote about:
          
           Honestly I would start to think I was wrong the story started as something helping me to cope with a broken heart from a boy who I adored a boy I met on a camp a boy who I fucking liked back then. 
          
          but now I'm older I'm no longer in the past I'm almost 14 gosh it's my b day on the 22nd of April  
          
          But...I can't just put all the  private things of texts or moments online I'm so sorry but I was immature when I made that I was mad so I will not be continuing the story and that's it I'm sorry but I will be creating other stories I have honestly made in my mind but other than that have a good day 

just to let you know i'm bi and my friends and family don't know so me and my friends got this problem chat and i had a big fight with my brothers and they said i was bi....and i lied and said i wasn't but i am so this is how it went .                   
          
          
          
          
          
          :I . GOT A PROBLOM AND ITS
          my brothers
          i hate them
          THERE AWFULLL 
          THEY MAKE YOU CRY WHEN YOUR HAPPY
          and i'm sick of it
          ...
          i wish they weren't related to me
          i wish i was adopted
          i wish i wouldn't give them what they want 
          by crying right now
          I WISH life would be more....... happy
          more great
          more joyfull
          but they only bring sadness and misery into my life...
          some times i close my eyes and pretend i'm dead 
          its such more calm and peacefull
          nice and amazing...but
          i know i can't leave you guys
          I WISH.....they would love me.....
          but they already proven one fact about me thats true....
          and now i'm lying to myself that its not true but it is
          i'm saying it was just a stage of you trying to be happy
          ....but it's not  a stage 
          its not a mind trick
          its what makes me, me but.... i can't be me until i'm ready to be  me  in front of my parents, family, friends, anyone that knows me or loves me...... but i'm too scared to give in to scared to tell to scared they'll not love me .... too scared that....i would just start lying about it again to everyone too scared that i'll just CUT everyone off to scared that i'll runaway from life too scared that i'll be as unhappy as i am today by not telling my feelings and what it is....
          you might know what it is now.... you might not
          but all i can say is.... message me what you think it is on private chat only you and me and i'll answer by saying yes or no and if its a yes  ask why and i'll tell you 
          but it doesn't mean i don't know what it means
          i exactly know what it means 
          ....just try your best to be my friend at that time and love me for me
          -  Cow        
          
          
          they still haven't messaged back but thats ok .... i don't think they will

awesome new book i think https://www.wattpad.com/story/197491122

I'm so bored out of my mind help me please ! Pm me do something I need help not being bored I hate boredom it sucks (*probably because I always end up getting grounded when I'm bored*) -FROM BORING COW

@pineapplesrawsome ok

@pineapplesrawsome okie i'm bored

@pineapplesrawsome  yo whats up

@pineapplesrawsome Yo

@Her_Bee_ ok

what should i do i'm bored as hell ?