cransin
[tw: mentions of suicide]
Hello.
If you don’t know, I use to write tons of stories when I was a teenager. All bot one of my books have since been deleted. I don’t remember when I did this, but I suffered from anxiety and depression for many years. To be honest, I still do.
I had problems at home and at school, I can elaborate more later when I’m ready but for now let’s keep it at that. These problems lead me to believe I wasn’t good enough. That I needed to disappear.
cransin
As for my future, I still struggle to enjoy things I once wished to never stop doing. Writing being one of them. That being said, I’d like to try it again. Whether it’s a real story or some simple fan-fiction, I don’t quite know yet.
cransin
I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t let the sharp, toxic tongues of desperation dictate your life. They won’t matter later on.
Walking down this path will lead to many regrets. You’ll miss out on so much. Please, keep fighting.
cransin
You want to know the reason I stepped off the path? There’s two.
One, the thought of someone I care about so much, my mother, finding my lifeless body on the floor absolutely sickens me. The fact that I’d thank her with my corpse whenever she came home. It’s frightening.
Two, I adopted a cat. It sounds stupid but honestly any reason to step off the path is a good enough reason.
This cat was born in my lap. He had terrible stomach issues which lead me into having to bottle feed him even when he was two months old, way past the stage of eating regular food.
Taking care of another life sometimes brings meaning back into your own. I knew nobody else would take care of him as diligently as myself. I’ve trained him, fed him good meals, and have kept him clean and warm.
He’s smart too. He copied the way I say “hello” and now says it whenever he walks into my room or whenever I come home. He talks to me through buttons. He trained to go on walks and sit in the basket of my bike. He likes baths, getting his nails trimmed, and when I clean his ears. I never even liked cats before. Honestly, I still don’t. This one, however, is special. This one saved me and in return I will forever keep him safe.
