I am a certified nut. Seriously, I'm crazy. Ask anyone. I only write satire. I have yet to affiliate, but I am  already a rival of @FourFeet. Especially @GreenGerbil. 

 If I write, there is only a 25% chance that it'll be in English. I want to strengthen my skills in several languages. I speak 4 conversationally, but I am learning 14 more, with varying levels. DM me for translations.