'This house runs on disgrace, mistrust and coffee.'
'This house is bitchin'.'

Evil beware, we have waffles.

Sounds gay, I'm in.

The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.

Life is not a fairy-tale, if you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk.

Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes that reason is that you're stupid and make bad decisions.

I didn't fall, I attacked the floor.

I'd be in good shape if I ran as fast as my mouth.

Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.

I saw that - Karma

Dear math, I am not a therapist, solve your own problems.

Everyone has a right to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilege.

Sarcasm is like punching people in the face with words.

Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Just sitting on the corner of awesome and bombdiggity.

Hey Karma, I have a list of people you missed.

No one types faster than an angry female.

So you know that little voice inside your head that keeps you from saying things that you shouldn't? Yeah I don't have one of those.