julia.

so basically i hurt the most important person in my life really badly. she comes above most of my family, and i really screwed our friendship up this time. she says that she's forgiven me and she thinks we're friends again, but she really doesn't know. i'm physically sick from hurting her like this, and even though it was accidental, the guilt won't go away. i feel like everything will never be the same between us and its killing me. she flat out told me i lost her trust, and i don't blame her. i'm a horrible person and friend.

kinda wanting to die. but that's a usual thing for me now, isn't it?

i'm a horrible person and i'm reminded of this fact too often for my liking. i feel as if i disappoint my friends by existing, and every time i try to convince myself otherwise, i find something that reinforces it. i'm not good enough for friends or love. i'm taking a break from wattpad, and possibly my friends, for a while.