Hey there,
You seem really cool and multi talented. We share similar interests too this is so crazy, knowing someone online with so many similar interests like me. However you said you self cut. I know life can be hard but that's not really a reason to harm yourself. You should stay strong and take everything in a positive way. There might be people who are willing to help you. I'm willing to help you. Don't harm yourself. :)
XOXO
Advika