Jane

lol so I delete this app after a couple months every time I end up back on it and I love but hate seeing all these shit posts I put up. Looking back at all this crap from high school is so sad and funny to me. Everything is so different now .. when I was 15 I didn’t know what I wanted to do and now almost being 20 … my whole future is being lined up for me in the best way. It’s crazy to me to see how much I’ve changed. 
          Lol @ whatever age me looks at this again when I eventually delete this app and get it again. I hope you’re doing well :) 

I honestly don't know why I still think about you even when it's not on purpose. You show up in my dreams when I haven't even thought or seen you in so long. I don't understand. But I want it to stop. Social media is where I see you now and I guess it kind of sucks that we don't talk anymore. It's just weird seeing you live your life knowing that I knew you. Although I felt like I didn't know that well as others did. I still knew you. I still felt for you. And I made you a priority over myself. Myself. I know you probably haven't even thought about me once since you've been gone. I just hope one day we can be friends again and I can move on from how I've felt. Cause you really did hurt me and I started to hurt myself. I still do sometimes. I've tried helping myself and I've tried letting others help me. It's just so hard. Why am I still letting the past hurt me when it was so long ago? We were just 15 years old and stupid. So why am I so bothered by this? I don't understand and I want it to stop. 

I'm honestly really happy??! 
          My crush asked me on a date???!!! 

Thank you very much for voting on my book :3 ish much appreciated cc; 

You moved to New York to meet a beautiful girl
          And drink fancy cocktails without a care in the world
          But you got scared they're all gonna find someone else
          So you find one and tell it things you're dying to tell
          We got high as hell, how did I forget how it went
          It was a song about love at the time it made sense
          When the song ended we just layed there in bed
          You would have fallen asleep but I stayed up and read
          I made a list of everything I said I never meant
          Considered all the things I never said but I digress
          I got dressed kissed your forehead and left
          You called me when you woke but I was sleeping off the meds

"Hardcore Subtweeting" 

You'll always find your way back to me, but this time I hope you get lost. 

So like I'm just minding my own business as usual and out of no where in my head I think of aggressively yodeling and now I can't stop laughing. 

This new update fucking sucks. 

@WhoamI146 thanks so much love, honestly needed that.