When you're 15 or 14, you don't feel like you're getting closer and closer to adulthood. But, then you realize... at 16 you only have 2 years left to be a kid, and during those 2 years, you're basically being forced to prepare for adulthood. As a child, you long to be an adult, but then you become an adult, and you realize that it isn't all that fun and that it's depressing. You realize, that you're childish bliss, you young freedom, is about to be taken. Clipped from your very soul, and you'll be required, forced, to become an adult. It isn't a matter of choice. It's a matter of time. And time waits for no one. Time favors no one.
I'm turning 16 in June, and it made me realize...I didn't get that childish happiness or freedom that most kids get. I realized that my time as a kid is running out, and no matter what, I can't get that time back. I can't just grab my watch and turn the hands back to get back my time. Don't wish to become an adult. Adulthood is just another word for imprisonment. I wish beyond anything that I could get my time back. That I could do all the things that I'd always wanted to do. That I could have been less of a shut-in and made friends. That I could have worked harder on my studies. That I could just do.
When you're a child, you always wish that you could grow up faster (or the smart ones who don't want to grow up at all), but when you're an adult, you wish that you could be young again. That you could have that time back. I'm not even there yet, but I already regret all the things I never did.
Don't try to grow up to fast. Don't wish to be older. Because one day, you'll wake up and wish for your time back. You'll wish for it back and know that you can't have it. And it'll make you sad or mad or regretful.
Don't abandon your youth, because we're human and we only have so much time. So much, but never enough. So much... yet so little. So much...yet none at all.
4/11/2020 11/4/2020