i have nowhere to go, i have no one to rant to. so I'll just leave it here. i don't understand why it's too easy for them to discard me all the time. my real parents. my adoptive parents. everyone around me. it hurts so bad, knowing that if i fail them, it'll be easy for them to just send me away because they don't want anything to do with me. maybe because they know that I'll come running back to them after all the toxicity, abuse and trauma that they gave me? just one sweet moment from them and I'll be like a dog, wagging my tail and running back to them in just one whistle and clap. maybe I should've stayed gone. i wish i didn't come back in this hell hole. why did i even forget all the traumas they gave me.
