😼✌️monster dong

ctfu at this account oh i miss little teenage autist me 

like 2 months ago i wrote three and a half chapters for a book and holy FUCK it’s good. pure genius. i am genuinely gobsmacked at my level of creative competence. what the frickity fuck. 

shit man sherlock rlly do be out here loving rosie 

*sherlock showing mycroft pictures of baby rosie*
          mycroft: uh why am i looking at this?
          sherlock: that’s her, john and mary’s baby. 
          mycroft: oh! i see... looks very... fully functioning. 
          sherlock: *looks at him like r u fucking serious* is that really the best you can do? 
          mycroft: sorry, i’ve never been very good with them. 
          sherlock: babies? 
          mycroft: humans. 

i feel like sherlock would be that one kid in uni who nobody really liked when he was sober but then they would always encourage him to go to party’s because he would get smashed out of his mind and just be fun to be around lmao  

i cannot believe that people have the audacity to call modern day sherlock holmes fans crazy or extra when literally in the 1800s when arthur conan doyle killed sherlock off thousands of people wore black and rioted in the streets and caused such a popular demand that ACD had to fucking resurrect him 

john: childhood friend? 
          mycroft: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH of sherlocks? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
          also mycroft: sherlock had a bestie when he was little and they used to play pirates together and they called eachother redbeard and yellowbeard and they were best buds and they always hung out and 

yo i bet uncle rudi lived with the holmes family at some point because like,, 
          1) there would have been absolutely NO reason for sherlock and mycroft to know that he cross dresses if he kept it a secret unless one of them walked in on him once
          2) why would he personally lock up eurus, his 7 year old niece, if he didn’t know firsthand how dangerous she was and how fucked up she treated sherlock, his 6 year old nephew 
          3) the way that sherlock and mycroft mention him he just seemed like he was really close to the family 
          so in conclusion, he lived with sherlock, mycroft, eurus and mr and mrs holmes in the musgrave house and was there when eurus was murdering sherlocks best friend and torturing the living shit out of poor sherly and then when she set fire to their house he was like nah lmao i’m putting this kid in a psychiatric ward and then when he died or retired or something mycroft took over eurus’s care 

sherlock saying ‘my bedrooms just a taxi ride away’ is so unnatural someone pls come
          get ur mans 

i love how john holds sherlocks hand when theyre running down the street but the SECOND they stop he grabs onto sherlocks sleeve,, he’s like ‘pls spare me a sexuality crisis right now’