lulu

i posted my new jungkook fanfic that i am soso proud of. can't believe i was able to finally write. i'm so happy. please enjoy the first chapter and let me know what you think <3 
          
          - luna
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/357606730

each time i read a good book, i burn with the desire to write something about my bangtan boys. i am burning right now, ashes pooling at my feet.
          
          i must give myself two promises before next week takes them away from me.
          
          i must learn korean and not procrastinate and not fear.
          
          i must write about my boys, often and diligently, until i have my own archive of the love i have of them, of what they have done for me and of our relationship.
          
          i must. my life depends on it.
          
          - luna

hello i miss writing
          
          i'm dealing with the boys' enlistment into the military. it hurts so much and i don't know how i will survive without my sunshines for a year and a half. my attachment to them grows stronger and stronger and i can't seem to find a way to stop it.
          
          i've been smoking a lot, looking up at the moon and writing poems in my mind that are forgotten as soon as the flame of my cigarette is snuffed out.
          
          i long to write. and i long for it to matter.
          
          - luna

i miss being that girl with a notebook scribbling down poems  and aesthetic enjoyments of life. i miss being that girl that saw the beauty in her surroundings, despite the plague coursing through her bloodstream.
          
          the plague is back, stronger than ever. but it's so hard to find that poetic connection with the world. i wish naivety would return to me, the twinkling hope that it will get better, that life is still there for me, waiting.
          
          i've waded through so much mud of shit and i'm still kneeling in it, even though i pretend i've gone up and walked the other way. it still affects me. and there's no one around me that has a tenderness for it, a some kind of understanding. i'm just a bad person to them, hurting them, through and through.

i've recently had poetic interactions with two men who said no to my offer of cigs and would not budge even if i begged prettily. that teaches me something. 
          
          wrote this from bed while i am still recovering. sending love to you all. <3
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/1394769438-nameless-ii

thank you for being so kind with your words on my book, your comments genuinely had me elated. i appreciate it so much, hope your morning/night goes as lovely as you made mine. sending so much love your way <3

a new collection up now <3 it took a lot for me to be this soft 
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/1388843831-nameless-introduction

all it took was one chilly weather, the acceptance of my feelings and the words of charlotte brontë to help me find the way i had lost

the end of an era—the fifth and the last poem of my poetry collection up now
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/1387841275-bareness-v

the smell of hair dye, coconut vape, the fumes of my heavy prayers—the sense of redirection in my life.