.

@eryn-yeager I don't believe you in that...but sure...if you say so..

@WittyComebackSoon it doesnt hurts... trust me im numb about all this now

@eryn-yeager that doesn’t mean it hurts any less...I wish you didn’t have to be used to it...

@eryn-yeager Yeah… i get what u mean, and  honestly? I’m not trying to throw fake positivity at you or act like suffering magically has meaning....life can genuinely feel unfair and deeply limiting, especially when you feel like most choices were never really yours to begin with. A lot abt life genuinely is unfair and messed up, especially when it feels like most of ur life was decided for you before u even got a say in it. I just think when someone’s been hurt/exhausted for too long, the mind starts treating the current state as permanent like “this is all there is”....that certainty feels rational from inside it...nd maybe you’re right about some parts of the world being broken- honestly, a lot of it is...
            And maybe ur right abt a lot of things being broken in this world. But I still don’t think ur value comes down to college, productivity, ambition, or fitting into whatever system ppl worship. you’re still a person experiencing all this, not some defective machine that deserves the scrapyard....you don’t need to force hope or spirituality or any of that. Just maybe don’t close the door completely on the possibility that life might not always feel exactly like this, even if rn it feels permanent as hell.
            And honestly yeah...the world can be so fcking shity that leaving can start sounding comforting.... i’m not gonna sit here and pretend I can fully argue against why u feel that way(and i'm not arguing) I just don’t want u making a decision entirely from a place of painor exhaustion...I hope you understand what i mean?

@WittyComebackSoon she gave me good ideas for how to dispose of my life lol dw...im a pro-right to die with dignity person. There is no moral difference between forced existence and forced death. Ppls body..they have the right to choose what is best for em if theyre mature. We dont live in a disney land...Its all about others, beliefs, uncertain luck, politics and a system that breeds its money from survivors. I dont need any comforting for that. I care about harsh reality more than illusions. Dont mind. The more deeper u understand this wolrd for what it is without coping the less one sees it as something worth it. Life? I never chose this life. There is almost nothing in my life what i chose. Its like a broken machine. In a que of 100s of machines being checked for their quality and deployed based on that, i am one without the fuel. One with gears so broken even the garbage dumpyard would pity on me. A state of non existence is not as painful as a forced existence in a condition u have already wasted and gone beyond point of no return. Newsflash: im a college dropout who got so messed from life i couldnt do anything. I had no interest, nor i have now. I just pass my days in ways i can..not like existing is living. Im jealous of dead ppl, i knwo countless who threw their lives with much smaller issues. I always was jealous.. i wish active euthanasia was legal. If a system cant cure u, and u have to struggle for bare minimum. At least one shud have a painless exit. Nothing wrong with it like what they brainwash ppl to believe. Confirmation bias runs deep in the spiritual world.

@eryn-yeager i’m reallyy sorry you had to go through that,.... It sounds like you truly cared about her as a friend and just wanted to be there for her when things were hard...... I can understand why not getting the chance to speak to her hurts so much.....but none of the drama or what other people said can erase the bond you two had....the fact that you still care this deeply and regret not being beside her says enough about the kind of friend you were to her.....you were a real friend to her- and that’s obvious, i know it hurts not being able to talk to her before she passed, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t know you cared...as stupid as it may sound, she might want you to be happy, so don't throw away your life..

@eryn-yeager T-T yeah...

@WittyComebackSoon another reason why extinctionism is a good philosophical agenda

@eryn-yeager Roses weren't red, they just bled
            violets weren't blue, they had no clue
            sometimes, if not the person, then the fate decieve...
            They were never meant to stay, everyone is bound to leave

@eryn-yeager 

Cried a lot again. Been momths now again andnagain.. lol....

@eryn-yeager OHH GODDDD

....

@Arzryan meow

@eryn-yeager still....

@WittyComebackSoon its ok dw. Its past, no need to worry about it. ^^

@eryn-yeager I'm sorry, i didn't mean to trigger your past...i just...empathize a lot...i mean...ik it's not abt me...but...

I HATE EVERYTHING EVERYONE

I WANNA DESTROY THIS WORLD.. IF IT CAN'T GIVE ME U BACK

THERE'S NO MEANING, HOPE FOR THIS WORLD... IF WE COULDN'T DO IT... PLEASE COME BACK... FOR THE WORLD WHERE WE FOUND EACH OTHER

@WittyComebackSoon youre late.. its been 3 years.. look at the date, its already gone.
            
            Thanks tho.

@eryn-yeager You don’t have to go through this alone.....

@eryn-yeager *lotssss of hugssss* even if they don't mean anything...and even if it might sound "kindness" to you
            I'm here if you ever feel like talking...

.... Or maybe u never wanted me..

I AM SO ANGRY, I WANT ALL THE COMPENSATION NOW IM NOT LETTING U BE WITH ANYONE ELSE TT

I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE AROUND U THAN ME

PLS DO SOMETHING TT COME BACK PLS

FUCK THE WORLD RETURN TO ME TT

TOO MUCH WAIT ALREADY.