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@Life_of_craig_wilson I don't mean to be mean in any way, but yes, there are just a few errors here and there. For example, in your following sentence "Hey dumbass, do you think you think you can bully me." , I would get rid of one of the "you think"s that are in the sentence, if that makes any sense. Also, don'r forget to change the period into a question mark as well. Overall, I liked the story o far, but you should definitely write more.