YALL READ THIS I CANT BELIEVE IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED JSFKFKFKF
“It’s 7pm on a sweltering hot summers night. Deep in the bowels of the vast Wembley Arena, a tense stand-off is about to take place. David Walliams stands tall outside his dressing room in an immaculate white tux, ready to take on all-comers. heat hovers next to him, watching, waiting. At the other end of the long, narrow corridor an enigmatic sunbaked man appears, and strides towards us, white shirt unbuttoned almost to the waist. No tie. It’s Cowell. Simon Cowell. David’s eyes narrow. “Look who it is,” he whispers. Cowell stops in front of us and looks Walliams up and down, their faces inches apart. It is a very narrow corridor. David steals himself. He hovers over the boss. Will they embrace? Will they air kiss? Maybe a high five? In the end, Simon simply holds out his hand, and David shakes it firmly, with a hint of curtsy. “Hello David,” says Simon, smiling thinly, and nodding in heat’s general direction.
“Simon!” replies David. “Are you happy or sad to see me?” Cowell looks quizzical. “Actually...” he says, pausing for effect, “I’m happy. I’m always happy”.