I'm a stupid author who cannot spell hippopotamus without automatic spelling correction and 20 English tutors who are paid £500(insert many zeros here) each just to yell at me and... and I'm rambling. Anyway, if you laugh at anything on my profile (INCLUDING MY BOOKS) you owe me a banana peel with ice cream inside and a dancing flamingo on top (Don't ask). If you don't pay up I'll personally whack you upside the head with Coach Hedge's baseball bat and ell at you for eternity with his megaphone. Let's wrap this really long description with some facts (Only two).
1. I DESPISE PINEAPPLE PIZZA (do you?)
2. WAFFLES ARE BETTER THAN PANCAKES (do you agree?)

From a clueless author who makes 1 line into a universe and makes things way too long and... ARGH I KEEP RAMBLING.
Anyways,
From a clueless author... Im just gonna stop here or ill be writing this in my grave.



From a rambling, clueless author (FINALLY I DID IT I WROTE A SINGLE SENTENCE WITHOUT RAMBLING YAY),
Dan.

Ps. I hope you like my books.
PPs. I LOVE PIZZA