this message may be offensive
expressing my thoughts (and works) in greek is so hard, I'm this close to scrapping my book's greek version ong.
how is it possible that i, a born-and-raised greek, can not adequately translate one of my own chapters in my mother tongue without the use of an english-greek dictionary? while still being unable to make the language transition seem seamless?
and yes, of course. of course, I can simply just Not translate it word for word (which is actually impossible anyway), and instead, I can write the greek chapter slightly differently. who's gonna know the difference anyway?
so why don't i?
well, because, *of course*, that would not align with my vision.
i have a certain plan in mind, and each word is specifically selected– each line, each feeling, and each action; they are all chosen meticulously and carefully, which makes it so utterly and unbelievably irritating when Greek, the most rich language in the world, has no matching translation that wouldn't royally and completely fuck up the entire flow of any sentence or paragraph.
every time I write a new chapter, I feel like I'm splitting my brain in two different directions, and it is the most vexing thing I've encountered in all my years creating.
but, OF COURSE, I'm going to keep pulling myself in two directions such as this because I've started down this path now, so I might as well keep going till the end.
all I needed to do was let some air out, which I think I have accomplished with this post. and thus, I'm going back to the hell of my own creation until I can take it no longer for tonight.
(tl;dr: translating ch11 to greek is making me question my entire life, but mostly my sanity's strength)