@Apsaraji hey that's some really good writing you have done! Especially the poems- they're really good, and the worldbuilding has tons of potential.
However, I wish next chapter you'd start with introducing the character first. See, the world is great- but it wouldn't really be able to peak if it doesn't have a character whose choices and actions affect the world. More than what the world is about, it's more important to know why we need to know this world, why does it matter to the character? How can this change and develop the character? What are the challenges this world can give him/her? How can this world put the character to the test? So, I suggest that you craft a strong character and introduce it to us in the next chapter- a character that is deeply linked with the world that you've built, and has atleast some sort of internal conflict that goes along with the world. And by conflict, I mean some reasonable, relatable humanly struggle that they have to go through so that their motivations in the world cns be humanized. You have built an amazing world- combining it with an equally amazing character would be like a explosion of perfection.
Hope my advice helps!
