⁰⁵ 」 as he grew up, he invested more and more into his music and his equipment until he was a big enough sensation that he drew the eyes of many producers and performers. his first official performance would be in penacony, and it was successful. he finally felt something that was missing for so long in his heart, and he was desperate to keep ahold of it.
he performed more frequently. anywhere and everywhere, getting more traction for his work by the day. he threw himself at clubs and bars, drowning himself in substances he didn't even know existed. he was hooked on the feeling it gave. that numbing sensation that knocked the looming thoughts from his mind. he never wanted it to end. so he would fall into this sick trap of addiction, clinging to it as if it were the only thing keeping him from crumbling.
he knew, deep down, that he could never escape what he did. so he buried it and pushed it down until only his night terrors would be left. at least he could deal with those alone, even if it was through the pills he kept so close to him. he didn't need anything else to help. he had his music and his fans. why should he care about any more?
