daydreaminbear_

I got that summertime sadness

daydreaminbear_

This is an appreciation post for my fav person so excuse me <3
          
          My fav person once wrote me,
          “Sayang, (Translate: my love,)  I am, of course, aware of your rollercoaster of emotions and that you are going through a healing process. That is why I choose to stay. I love you so much and believe we can get through any challenges we have to face whilst growing together and helping you heal with your past experiences. 
          You don’t see it but you are so SO pretty, gorgeous, adorable, hot, sexy, cute and every other thousands of words that could describe the beauty you have as a person. Of course you’d disagree sometimes and start pointing out your insecurities but darling, how is one going to see the beauty as a whole piece if they keep looking at the minor details?
          That smile you give when you’re shy, those eyes when you look at me, your wrists that has only been grabbed roughly by others before me; and I would only gently. Your thighs that bring me comfort, your breasts that you only ever wish to be bigger..
          Oh darling, you are way too focused on your insecurities that you don’t see the various other aspects you have that are so beautiful. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about your appearance but your personality, you as a person.”
          
          I just wanna say that I am SO grateful that I met you.
          Thank you so much for everything.
          If you’re reading this,
          I love you<3

daydreaminbear_

Ive never felt so lucky
          
          Earlier today, I was in class with my fav person.
          I suffered from severe anxiety and I have been feeling down for the past few weeks because of it.
          My fav person asked me today, “why aren’t you telling me things now days? Why are you becoming like this..? Please talk to me”
          I felt so touched because normally no one has ever noticed when I’m in pain. It would always be them dismissing my emotions.
          I realised how much my trauma has been affecting me. Last year was bullied badly. I was mentally and physically drained. I was in pure pain and I had no one. Maybe I had someone but I was wrong. Ive been getting flashbacks and last year I had really bad insomnia. Thankfully I met a kind lady AKA my therapist. I am also very grateful to meet my favorite person. On the 23rd of March, I had a breakdown and my favorite person noticed and found out about it and to my surprise, my favorite person did nothing but gently hold my wrist “my wrist is a very sensitive area of mine. so I felt relieved” and started drawing pink hearts and yellow stars with blue clouds. I started crying because I wasn’t used to it. I was in a toxic relationship/friendship with some people last year who made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Who made me feel like my mental health was a joke.  
          
          I’m writing this and putting it here because to me, it is important for me to always remember where I came from. 
          Mental health is not a joke.
          Respect people and never dismiss anyone’s feelings because you may not know what they are actually going through.
          Spread love<3
          
          xx
          Diary

daydreaminbear_

Taking a break again unfortunately, but this time, I don’t think im coming back to wattpad. Maybe, hopefully I can but rn I think It’s best if I should quit for a little while bc im gonna focus more on school and my life<3. (Don’t worry, im okay lol everyone needs a break obviously) To me, wattpad was my “escape from reality” kind of thingyy lol idk the word but you get what I mean. That was last time, when we were on lockdowns and you literally have nothing else to do so wattpad is the KEY. Thank you, wattpad. Thank you, to all my wattpad friends too! If you wanna talk more or if you’re new and you came from my  “comments” lol feel free to add my snap! Its on my bio<3  once again, thank you.
          I hope everyone is having a good day/night #healing
          
          xoxo,
          Cherry

daydreaminbear_

Sometimes I ask myself.. “Did I really deserved this?”  “Is this just another test that the universe sent me?”  “Am I going to get hurt again?”  “Why?” 
          I like to think of it as a reflex from all of the trauma’s and all of the shi*  I’ve been through. I also like to think of it as a lesson? Sigh* maybe? Maybe im just afraid of getting hurt again?  #Overthinkingisabit*h