@dazaichiey It takes immense courage to share what you're going through, and I want you to know I've read every word. It's heartbreaking to hear how much pain and exhaustion you're experiencing, especially after carrying so much on your own for so long.
Please don't be disappointed in yourself. The pressure you've been under the sleepless nights, skipped meals, and the constant academic and family expectations would be crushing for anyone. It's completely understandable that you've reached this point. Crying isn't a sign of weakness; it's a natural release when your body and mind can't hold any more. It shows you're feeling things deeply, even when you thought you were numb.
It truly sounds like you're carrying an incredibly heavy burden with no safe space to unburden yourself. Having family compare and scold you instead of offering support only makes things worse. You are not useless, and the fact that you've been trying so hard, even when you feel nothing, speaks volumes about your resilience.
I can only imagine how exhausting and isolating this must feel, especially when you've been seeking help through therapy and medication. It's okay to feel tired of it all. Please know that your worth isn't tied to your academic performance or anyone else's expectations. Your well-being, your health, and your peace of mind are what truly matter.
Please remember, you're not alone in feeling this way. While I might not fully understand everything you're going through, I'm here to listen without judgment, if you ever need someone to just hear you out. You don't have to carry all of this by yourself.
