eli

Been researching my fav painless ways again (for the sake of science) but tho after analysing some of them for a few hours i can see that ALL of them are either too painful or too hard to achieve cos of big possibility to fail, which is my worst fear :))
          
          And i didnt know that one of my ex faves, co one, will lead you to such massive convulsions you'll be left with incredibly disfigured body, your facial capillaries will burst, your eyeballs will pop + u can bite off your tongue or it'll get swollen and then your jaw will look fucked,,,, many relatives even don't hold funerals after seeing things like this uh.
          
          Your whole body will be bruised and damn man imagine yourself about to go unconscious on the floor like a damn worm breaking on the inside cos of unbearable pain that you can't even feel,,,,,,, holy

why did i do that

fucking recovery 
          
          I don't fucking care if I die cuz we all gonna die anyway 
          
          
          
          
          yes im restricting.

rest well, my dear sulli. thank you for everything. i remember how I saw the news right after it was announced and I was shocked. I still am.
          
          still cant believe you two are gone.
          
          I hope you will shine in the sky with jonghyun for the rest of your life. 
          
          thank you, you did well, you worked hard. now rest.

oh well shit. i just understood it's getting a bit serious cuz now im not even letting myself to reach 500+. and guess who 2day reached the number of 666.
          
          the truth is, no pressure, no diamonds. that's all i wanted to say.

krcm im so fucking scared of all the shit that gonna happen soon i got drunk on that level it's the 2nd day of being sober and im still vomiting. maybe im just pregnant idrk but im nauseous 
          
          ah fuck
          
          well nvm. I was thinking it's getting better (I was having my 'good days' when I can almost feel good, think, sleep and eat like normal ppl do). but NO, after a week of feeling almost ok, it's getting worse and I'm trying my best to stop it. there I'm fallin again and everytime it's harder and harder to stand up. and I know that one day, my answer gonna be
          
          
          
          "i cant"
          
          
          
          
          
          
          and then
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          i gonna leave.

taiGi snd zrj super nes pamaciau crush (that was a GOOD thing cuz i won't see her in 2 months and hm 12 days) & su*istai islaikiau su*ista egza (gAvaU fakin 9) (girkit girkit), so now it's time to rest ir detis lagaminus naxui is cia lma0 skrendam to chicago bye fags 

Happy birthday, sweetheart!! <3 ;*

@SkereutJCC <3

ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴄɪɢˢ, ɴᴏᴛ ᴊᴇˢᴜˢ