I'm not sure what's going on of course, but just make sure to remember that you are very important! Life is hard sometimes, but you can't give up! There is so much happiness in your future. I'm sorry that it's rough right now. You can always talk to me, and many others online/irl. (And if you find yourself not having anybody to talk to, there are plenty of professionals online and elsewhere that you can talk to if you feel comfortable enough to do so) Make sure to not bottle up your feelings and talk to somebody you trust about what's going on.
I hope everything gets better for you :)