AlisonBaird
Hi, thanks for sharing your story with me. It's fun. I could see it as either an illustrated storybook for children, or you could possibly expand it into a longer work like a chapter book for ages 8-12.
PS: You mentioned punctuation. I did find some errors with that, and a couple of typos. Would you like me to send you a list so you can fix them?
Thanks again,
Alison
AlisonBaird
You can add things. For instance, who owns the crown the frog found? Was his father the Frog Prince? Or is the baby girl a princess sent to the frogs for safety, and the crown belongs to her? So many things you could do with this...
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AlisonBaird
Hi, sorry for the delay. Nothing major, but I noticed a few things:
1) In the 2nd paragraph of your first page, "firery" should be "fiery".
2) In the last paragraph of page 1, some quotation marks are missing.
3) In the first paragraph of Part 2, "flys" should be "flies".
4) For "my hero" the M should be capitalized.
5) In the paragraph about the party, the word "too" is used 3 times: should be "to".
That's all. I do think this story has potential, especially if you choose to expand it into a chapter book.
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AlisonBaird
Thank you so much for all your votes for HOTW, Denise! I hope you will try the sequel, too. All the best,
Alison Baird
denisecook541
@AlisonBaird please read my story The Life of Colored Frogs and let me know what you think. It's a short fantasy about 2 frogs who raise a human girl
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alisa3115
"Hi, I apologize for posting here, but I’m working on a story called Vampires of Stone. If you're interested, I’d love for you to check it out!"
https://www.wattpad.com/story/360907388?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=alisa3115
AnnaMaria_93
Hi!
I hope you don’t mind me posting this, but I just started writing my first book. It would mean a lot to me if you had the time to check it out! It’s a fantasy romance book about a human girl named Esmara. She lives in a world that is ruled by seven kinds of shifters. My first book is mostly focused on werewolves but will delve deeper into the other shifters over time. Check my profile for more info! I’ll update every 7-10 days.
https://www.wattpad.com/story/346363092-shifters-the-king-of-wolves-book-1
Gracie8deto
Hi! I stumbled on your profile and noticed you enjoy fantasy stories. I was wondering if you would like to give my story HERS FREELY a read. If not no biggie, sorry for the intrusion and have a nice day.
https://www.wattpad.com/story/319441973?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Gracie8deto
Gracie8deto
@Gracie8deto Thanks for giving my story a try. I'm glad you are enjoying it. <( ̄︶ ̄)>
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pattyofurniture
What do you call a werewolf that doesn't know he's a werewolf? An unaware wolf! -- Thanks for voting! Have a great day :)
originalverbivore
Hey, thank you for reading The Downside to Perfection! I hope you're enjoying it so far :)
- Jessy