AlisonBaird

Hi, thanks for sharing your story with me.  It's fun.  I could see it as either an illustrated storybook for children, or you could possibly expand it into a longer work like a chapter book for ages 8-12.
          
          PS: You mentioned punctuation. I did find some errors with that, and a couple of typos. Would you like me to send you a list so you can fix them?
          
          Thanks again, 
          Alison

AlisonBaird

You can add things. For instance, who owns the crown the frog found? Was his father the Frog Prince? Or is the baby girl a princess sent to the frogs for safety, and the crown belongs to her? So many things you could do with this...
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AlisonBaird

Hi, sorry for the delay. Nothing major, but I noticed a few things:
            
            1) In the 2nd paragraph of your first page, "firery" should be "fiery".
            
            2) In the last paragraph of page 1, some quotation marks are missing.
            
            3) In the first paragraph of Part 2, "flys" should be "flies".
            
            4) For "my hero" the M should be capitalized.
            
            5) In the paragraph about the party, the word "too" is used 3 times: should be "to".
            
            That's all. I do think this story has potential, especially if you choose to expand it into a chapter book.
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denisecook541

@AlisonBaird 
            Thank you.
            I don't know how to extend it
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AlisonBaird

Thank you so much for all your votes for HOTW, Denise! I hope you will try the sequel, too. All the best,
          
          Alison Baird

AlisonBaird

@denisecook541 Sure, I'll be happy to read it
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denisecook541

@AlisonBaird please read my story The Life of Colored Frogs and let me know what you think. It's a short fantasy about 2 frogs who raise a human girl
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AnnaMaria_93

Hi!
          
          I hope you don’t mind me posting this, but I just started writing my first book. It would mean a lot to me if you had the time to check it out! It’s a fantasy romance book about a human girl named Esmara. She lives in a world that is ruled by seven kinds of shifters. My first book is mostly focused on werewolves but will delve deeper into the other shifters over time. Check my profile for more info! I’ll update every 7-10 days.
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/346363092-shifters-the-king-of-wolves-book-1

Gracie8deto

Hi! I stumbled on your profile and noticed you enjoy fantasy stories. I was wondering if you would like to give my story HERS FREELY a read. If not no biggie, sorry for the intrusion and have a nice day.
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/319441973?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Gracie8deto

Gracie8deto

@Gracie8deto Thanks for giving my story a try. I'm glad you are enjoying it. <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>
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denisecook541

@Gracie8deto I'm into free stories that don't have smut. I will take a look
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