I dig your writing style. You have a good way of getting unknown details to your audience without over inundating them right up front. I.e. How you brought in details about your character Olive in your story "what could go wrong" in chapter 4 or so rather than right up front. You still have some growing to do and you could desperately use an editor for Grammer/spelling/punctuation etc but that will auto correct with time. Your technique and vocabulary are beyond your years and yet you don't over do it. You have all the makings of a great writer. With practice and time you could be a very captivating author. perhaps the first in your family? At any rate keep the stories coming, we are dying to know what's next!
