@diesomewherepretty i'm so late sorry. but writing your thoughts down makes it easier, i know it's not easy at all to deal with such thought, but writing them down kind of frees your mind even if it's just for the moment. so if you ever have these thoughts again, write them down - you'll see how good it feels even if you're in pain. btw feel free to message me all the time, i'd help wherever i can!
sending much love x stay safe!!