sometimes i suppose i'm happy, when i'm with my friends, throwing my head back and covering my mouth as i shake with laughter at a joke someone just made. but then the day turns to night. and my carefree grin turns into an unexplainable sadness. i lay in bed, thinking about all the things i wish i could say, all the things i'm too afraid to admit even with only pen, paper, and mind. it's nights like this when i realize i am many things. i'm happy and sad, outgoing, playfully and shy, friendly and quite. but mostly, i'm empty