Me: *looks at one thing I like in a wattpad fanfic*
Wattpad: *shuffles over to me*
Wattpad: I heard you liked this thing, so here's some stuff you may like. Don't let anyone see you with these.
Me: Dude, what is it?
Wattpad: *rips open Trenchcoat, dropping hundreds of gay smutty fanfics in its wake, sprinting off while sirens blare in the distance*
Wattpad: Good luck kid!
Me: -_- bitch