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I haven’t posted a conversation in three years so consider this super important. When I was around 14 I started writing books on here semi-seriously and it took me 3-4 years to finish my first book and some books from that time still remain unfinished but that’s not what I want to share.
A majority of my characters were 18 for most of the storyline in their books and this is important because turning 14 was the start of my downward spiral into depression. I wrote about my characters and made a lot of them 18 thinking I would never get to that age because I was passively suicidal. It made me slightly emotional today realising that my characters and I are now the same age and now instead of guessing what 18-year-olds do, I can experience being 18 with my own two eyes because it does get better.
I still struggle, I’m at university hours away from home and I’m not too homesick but I do miss my friends and I have gone back to being what I was, the quiet girl who struggles to make friends here - I only found my people after a long 7 years at secondary and sixth form. I still have bad mental health days. I still struggle with a host of physical health issues that stem from bad decisions I made when I was struggling with depression and it hurts me to know that I did this to myself sometimes but I know I can push through this shit and that I will get better physically as well, seeing that I find the motivation.
I know I can eventually put myself in the shoes of 21-year-old characters and the 25-year-olds and so on and so forth.
Here’s to getting better