piekachoo

I want to rant real bad that it felt like it's raining in my brain and it's stormy in heart at the same time. I can hold it but I don't know if I can do this anymore.

Holding on the rays of hope from others just to crush your own.

Alhamdulillah, I've finally graduated

If this love is over, I'd still dive back in again.
          If this love is colder, I'd keep the fire lit in mine.
          
          You'll always be my blue valentine.
          
          I'm fallin' over and over and over.
          You're getting colder and colder and colder.
          
          Blue valentine.

Pure and innocent? 
          How does it once hold so much light in the glimmer of hope? 
          It seems these days have been a bit gloomy and foggy? 
          Cleanse the soul, they said. 
          
          Well, it's never about them anyway.

Nothing but the truth now
          Nothing but the proof of what I am
          The worst of what I came from
          Patterns I'm ashamed of
          
          Things that I don't even understand
          I tried to fix it, I tried to fight it.
          My head was twisted, my heart divided, my lies all collided.
          I don't know why I didn't trust you to be on my side.
          
          I broke into a million pieces and I can't go back.
          But now I'm seeing all the beauty in the broken glass.
          The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony.
          My voice without the lies this is what it sounds like.
          
          Why did I cover up the colours stuck inside my head?
          I should've let the jagged edges meet the light instead.
          Show me what's underneath I'll find your harmony.

Waited so long to break these walls down,
          To wake up and feel like me.
          Put these patterns all in the past now,
          And finally live like the girl they all see.
          
          No more hiding, I'll be shining like I'm born to be,
          'cause we're hunters, voices strong and I know I believe.

I never believed in fate, it felt like a cruel hope. 
          Something that would only end in pain.
          Each day I brushed off with a smile.
          Maybe I'm still hurting after all.
          
          All the sorrow and pain, maybe it's fate too.
          Like a sudden shower that passes quickly.
          Even through the future I can't yet see,
          I want to believe it's all destiny.
          
          The melody I wrote down one line at a time,
          This letter was born from it, 
          Even on a day soaked with rain.
          Not a single word ever washed away...
          
          Cuz' it's destiny.

Trophy for a victory? Don't, ever.

“Strangers may speak cruelly, yet their blades and bullets are dull. But when the gentlest barbs slip from the lips of family, they carve deeper than any wound. In moments like these, life feels draped in hopelessness, its meaning scattering like ashes in the wind.”
          
          “It doesn’t even crack my heart anymore. Just another layer of sadness added, another awan mendung pressing down, petrifying what little feeling I have left. The storm doesn’t rage—it lingers, heavy and unmoving.”
          
          p/s: Some are raised in harshness, taught to wear it like skin. Others must endure it, not to harden, but to keep their souls warm and gentle.