dnfyessirrrrr

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Holy shit this account still exists? SO hi!! I still lowkey think about offing myself from time to time lol! But I want to be honest now. I was 9-10 when I made this account. I was in 4th grade dealing with horrible depression and suicidal thoughts. I feel much happier nowadays. Thank you to everyone who stuck by me in the darkest chapter of my life. Isn't that sad? I read smut fics as a kid because know one cared enough to monitor what I did online. 4th grade having to resist the urge to grab scissors out of my desk and cut myself. I was EXTREMELY suicidal and was really close to actually harming myself. I always pussied out though. I would use little facial shaver things to make marks on my arms to feel something. I was so fucking stupid. I'm sorry for being dumb ig. -Max.

seomyeongho_0

@dnfyessirrrrr that's good, hope u feeling well soon
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dnfyessirrrrr

@seomyeongho_0 Hi!, tysm. I'm still not doing good but I'm feeling a lot better then I did.
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seomyeongho_0

@dnfyessirrrrr hi, ik I've been gone for a whole year and im sorry to hear this. definitely miss u guys
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dnfyessirrrrr

this message may be offensive 
Holy shit this account still exists? SO hi!! I still lowkey think about offing myself from time to time lol! But I want to be honest now. I was 9-10 when I made this account. I was in 4th grade dealing with horrible depression and suicidal thoughts. I feel much happier nowadays. Thank you to everyone who stuck by me in the darkest chapter of my life. Isn't that sad? I read smut fics as a kid because know one cared enough to monitor what I did online. 4th grade having to resist the urge to grab scissors out of my desk and cut myself. I was EXTREMELY suicidal and was really close to actually harming myself. I always pussied out though. I would use little facial shaver things to make marks on my arms to feel something. I was so fucking stupid. I'm sorry for being dumb ig. -Max.

seomyeongho_0

@dnfyessirrrrr that's good, hope u feeling well soon
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dnfyessirrrrr

@seomyeongho_0 Hi!, tysm. I'm still not doing good but I'm feeling a lot better then I did.
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seomyeongho_0

@dnfyessirrrrr hi, ik I've been gone for a whole year and im sorry to hear this. definitely miss u guys
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dnfyessirrrrr

Hi! Ive noticed since around 3 months ago that people stopped interacting with me. It hurts but im fine with it, I would of talked to everyone sooner so yeah, Im sorry about the lack of posts or comments but I promise I still look at them from time to time.I lost one of my best friends of about 3 years with no explantion at ALL so im learning how to cope with this. I feel free but so much guilt still lingers.  I tried to be extra careful around her but I guess nothing was ever enough! Im like super close to telling her her crush doesnt like her (romantically and platonically ) and says" she need to chill out on me bro" (calling her weird) who is this friend you may ask? Its @Alestar. So screw you too ig. Anyways im well and alive (not mentally ) so bye my lil fart cakes love you all ❤❤❤

ALESTAAR

@dnfyessirrrrr I'm really sorry and there is a lot of explanation but what are you talking about who says she needs to chill out on me bro? Was it L or someone else
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dnfyessirrrrr

wrong @ but idc just means she wont see it.
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dnfyessirrrrr

Hi, it’s me Sugar I haven’t been active for like 2 months now. I want to say hi to everyone but here’s a life update!
          Best friend: Lleyton and Adelyn ❤️❤️
          Sexuality: Lesbian/sapphic polyamory and  greyaroace
          Gender: gendergender xenogenders 
          Pronouns : anything idrc
          Mental state: not to much sadness just a lot of pent of anger
          Still feel like I have adhd/autism?: yup I’m having even more symptoms 
          Fav animals?: Dinosaurs,lizards,cats,bats and cows
          Fav food: spicy ramen ❤️❤️❤️
          Fav stuffed animal : fruity pebbles and Mr.Bubblegum (you guys want photos of them?) 
          Fandoms: franbow, a bunch of analog horror series, sally face and last but not least my top 3 ;fandoms : TGF,IT And STRANGER THINGS!!! This will change soon though
          
          
          Love you ❤️

dnfyessirrrrr

ANOTHER QUICK UPDATE: My fav food is mac and cheese btw
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dnfyessirrrrr

UPDATE: Im still lesbian but now im genderfluid (she/they/he) and cupiosexual (dont forget quioromantic)
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dnfyessirrrrr

I forgot to mention in the last comment even when I do watch the videos I am so desperate for I feel empty,alone and soon craving more. I kept silent when I felt this way before but now it’s so bad I (like I said) don’t feel like this body is mine. I really hope to soon tell my sister, since I keep a secret of hers I feel like she can keep a secret if mine right?

dnfyessirrrrr

1. It’s fine 2. The secret is a VERY secret one but I’ll try to explain it without really spilling it to much but basically my parents were away and she had someone from somewhere else at somewhere and she would leave to go see them one day this person came to the house 3. This means so much to me thank you dear
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ZX2_Blended

Sorry for the long comment
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ZX2_Blended

@dnfyessirrrrr heavy secrets like this are uneasy to be kept. Look at her track record of keeping secrets. Look at what secref she told you and the severity oc it. It seems like you've developed an addiction to these videos. These types of additions can be hard to stop. With a smoking or alcohol addiction, you can convince yourself to stop because you are dying because of it. With a video oriented one, it is extremely difficult to argue stopping as it doesn't seem to harm you, but it does. It seems like this possible addition or heavy reliance on the videos has worn down your sense of self and belonging. I beg you to seek help, but remember that help doesn't have to be a therapist. It could be a good support system of friends, chatting with a hotline, and many other possible solutions. But you need to have a good mindset. You will get through this and you will recover. You are worthy of love and care. I believe in you.
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dnfyessirrrrr

Does anyone know how I would be able to get therapy without my parents finding out? So why I’m saying this is because a couple days ago me and my friend @Alestar watched the movie IT (both chapters 1 and 2) my mom told me I was “forbidden” to watch the movie but I didn’t care because I wanted to watch it. Why this is a problem is because I feel so overly obsessed, I constantly need to go and watch videos about IT I stay up late watching videos about IT. I don’t even know what to do with myself anymore, I’ve cried like over 7 times today due to either sad stuff,frustration due to all of this, feeling weird due to all of this, my heart racing and my body feeling weird or just not knowing what to do. It’s become such a problem to a point where I even was looking up SHIFTING REALTIES like 2 maybe 1 hour ago, someone help this isn’t a joke trying to be funny I don’t even know if this body is mine anymore. This feels like a 10x worse version of my Wattpad AND MHA addiction. Someone please help me

dnfyessirrrrr

Reasons why I’m probably autistic ^ hyperfixation? But like rlly bad? Btw this was one of the worse times of my life so glad it’s over
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ZX2_Blended

@dnfyessirrrrr you are a magically amazing person who deserves the very best, school counselors are rats who tell eveything to my parents. I wanted to talk to my school counselor once and she never responded to my letter(you need to put a letter in her box on why you need to tslk to her). When i needed to hear those words in my life, i was never told them. So i cant imagine what kind of impact they had on you. Remember that i am here and that you are a wonderful and beautiful person who deserves all the love in the world. You are valid and so is what you are feeling. Im right here to talk whenever you need, i believe in you. You can get through this.
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dnfyessirrrrr

@ZX2_Blended you genuinely don’t understand how much I needed to hear this thank you when school starts I’ll try and talk to people I WOULD talk to my school counselor but every time I do go talk to her my mom wants her to always message her and tell her not in detail but why I was there
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dnfyessirrrrr

So uhm I’m a bit bored so if you wanna ask questions for wattpad,YouTube or anything like that go ahead ( I would like to mention that I’m still extremely upset over Technoblade but doing this helps a lot <3 I understand why people do it but really any messages that include the situation I will ignore im already emotionally/mentally drained this isn’t helping, please keep it sfw (safe for work) because I am a minor btw but yes if you want to ask boundary questions go ahead <3) so yeah leave questions here

Simp24769

@dnfyessirrrrr omg I was literally just crying like three times over techno‘s death and it’s so weird because when my brother mentioned it in the car I didn’t cry at all I watched his last video and then I was crying and then I watched a video and then I was crying and then I watched another video and then I was crying
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