Doggysruler

Short Stories #5
          —Quick Draw—
          
          “Mate, is shooting at each other the best way to do this?” The sniper asked the medic with caution, “Well..Nein, but! I must know if the über works right some how..” 
          
          “Are you ready freundin?”
          
          “Charge me doctor!” The heavy says in excitement, as the medic pops the über the heavy starts glowing, but so does his beloved minigun, Sasha, he starts shootings at the sniper, who without time to react dives behind cover, realizing that this type of über left the medic vulnerable he aims and, “Boom. Headshot.”
          
          “AGH, NEIN, THIS WILL NEVER WORK!” The medic exclaims in defeat.

Plsss make Ds Moreeeeeee

yes i am alive, somebody thought i wasnt

i want to die...anyways heres a short story thats not as weird
          
          Short Stories #4 
          (this ones true!)
          
          so we did a graduating grade walk at my school, i won't say what grade i'm in, i'm just not graduating, so my teacher told me not to hold my hand up for high fives cause they'd hit hard and to just wait until the girls come, i didn't listen and two people hit my hand as hard as they could, then the girls came and my teacher said, "see they'll be more gentle, they aren't", and i quote, "hyperactive children who are violent." 7 girls hit me as hard as they could. my hand is still red.

i need inspiration to write, sadly i have none lol, see a fic update in like a month or something i dunno

holy shit wattpad exists

Short Stories #3
          
          Today I was just sitting in my living room, then my mom walked in, she told me to clean the house, I can see how I got away it with it, but I am having trouble believing they didn't find the body, nobody every checks the freezer.

Short Stories #2
          
          My dad told me he had to get milk, when I told him we already had some he said, "More couldn't hurt!" But I said it might hurt cause the milk could spoil. He left and it's been 10 days. My mom misses him, I miss my bullet.

(THIS IS NOT A TRUE STORY)
          Short Stories #1
          
          My friends dog has a tendency to run away a lot, but he normally comes back within 10 days so he doesn't starve, the only thing I can't figure out is how they never heard the gunshot.

guys, im a therapist now, i gave my friend therapy after his parents yelled at him and the never found out(just so you know im joking, the next part isnt true, in reality he thanked me an d is doing much better now. they also never found out 
          i was telling him good job for the reason they yelled at him, it was a dumb reason.),then i told him it would cost him 50 bucks, still surprises me that they never found the body, hid it in plain sight. (should i do more stuff like this? like innocent sounding stories, that end darkly, except arent true in the slightest, and also much shorter-)