𝒜✩

my least controversial opinion is that i’d make a remarkably competent dictator.

my religious stance is honestly: i don’t know. 
          
          don’t get me wrong, i believe in God, but beyond that, i’m uncertain. trying to decipher religion feels emotionally exhausting to me sometimes, and the deeper i go into it, the more overwhelmed and stressed i become.

life is perhaps the only phenomenon that simultaneously invents meaning and mourns its fragility.
          
          what the hell is that about?

she also told me that about a week ago she was driving when a black suv pulled in front of her and started signaling left, even though there wasn’t a left lane. she said she started panicking and then claimed there were “messages” appearing all over her car that only she could see, and that they would only show up once she pulls over, or something like that. when i asked her what the message actually said, she just started shaking her head and couldn’t explain it properly. 
          
          she keeps saying that someone is logged into her phone and stalking her, and that wherever she goes someone is going to kill her. she also says every tiktok she sees is a “message” meant for her, and that there’s a “guide” in her head telling her what to do.
          
          she’s been hallucinating a lot. for example, we were in the bathroom at a restaurant during a friend’s birthday dinner, and she suddenly started laughing hysterically and asking me if i saw “that.” there was nothing there… we were the only two in the bathroom. i kind of nervously laughed and asked her what she meant, and she kept pointing at the wall and laughing uncontrollably
          
          there are so many other situations like this too. she’s even stopped sleeping with electronics in her room and puts everything in the kitchen because she’s convinced someone is listening in on her (she doesn’t even sleep, her sister says she sleeps for like 2 hours a day max)
          
          honestly, i’m really scared for her safety and for others’ as well, it feels like she’s escalating. she’s also cut off almost everyone except me. when i tried talking to her about it, she said i’m gonna think she’s crazy, but that i’m the only one who isn’t “possessed” or out to get her. i was just confused i didn’t even know how to respond to that.

additionally, i think it’s unfair to compare them to josie, nico, and the other couples, since at that point in their relationships there was already a stronger emotional foundation.
          flora and enzo simply aren’t there yet, so the dynamic is bound to feel different rather than comparable. this is also their first time really crossing that line, so the tone is naturally more tentative. i’d still take this emotionally flat kiss over emotionless physical intimacy
          
          and i think the first experience of foreplay between them should feel genuinely intimate, because flora deserves that level of care and emotional presence. i wouldn’t want it to come across as purely impulsive or driven by lust on enzo’s part. she deserves something more considered and meaningful. in that sense, the kiss felt like a good middle ground for now (not too much, not too little. and appropriate for where they currently are) 

additionally, i think it’s unfair to compare them to josie, nico, and the other couples, since at that point in their relationships there was already a stronger emotional foundation.
          flora and enzo simply aren’t there yet, so the dynamic is bound to feel different rather than comparable. this is also their first time really crossing that line, so the tone is naturally more tentative. i’d still take this emotionally flat kiss over emotionless physical intimacy
          
          i think the first experience of foreplay between them should feel genuinely intimate, because flora deserves that level of care and emotional presence. i wouldn’t want it to come across as purely impulsive or driven by lust on enzo’s part. she deserves something more considered and meaningful. in that sense, the kiss felt like a good middle ground for now (not too much, not too little. and appropriate for where they currently are) 

additionally, i think it’s unfair to compare them to josie, nico, and the other couples, since at that point in their relationships there was already a stronger emotional foundation.
          flora and enzo simply aren’t there yet, so the dynamic is bound to feel different rather than comparable.
          this is also their first time really crossing that line, so the tone is naturally more tentative. i’d still take this emotionally flat kiss over emotionless physical intimacy any day all day in my opinion
          
          i think the first experience of foreplay between them should feel genuinely intimate, because flora deserves that level of care and emotional presence. i wouldn’t want it to come across as purely impulsive or driven by lust on enzo’s part. she deserves something more considered and meaningful. in that sense, the kiss felt like a good middle ground for now (not too much, not too little. and appropriate for where they currently are) 

additionally, i think it’s unfair to compare them to josie, nico, and the other couples, since at that point in their relationships there was already a stronger emotional foundation.
          flora and enzo simply aren’t there yet, so the dynamic is bound to feel different rather than comparable. this is also their first time really crossing that line, so the tone is naturally more tentative.
          i’d still take this emotionally flat kiss over emotionless physical intimacy any day all day in my opinion
          
          i think the first experience of foreplay between them should feel genuinely intimate, because flora deserves that level of care and emotional presence. i wouldn’t want it to come across as purely impulsive or driven by lust on enzo’s part. she deserves something more considered and meaningful. in that sense, the kiss felt like a good middle ground for now (not too much, not too little. and appropriate for where they currently are) 

additionally, i think it’s unfair to compare them to josie, nico, and the other couples, since at that point in their relationships there was already a stronger emotional foundation.
          flora and enzo simply aren’t there yet, so the dynamic is bound to feel different rather than comparable. this is also their first time really crossing that line, so the tone is naturally more tentative. i’d still take this emotionally flat kiss over emotionless physical intimacy any day all day in my opinion
          
          i think the first experience of foreplay between them should feel genuinely intimate, because flora deserves that level of care and emotional presence. i wouldn’t want it to come across as purely impulsive or driven by lust on enzo’s part. she deserves something more considered and meaningful. in that sense, the kiss felt like a good middle ground for now (not too much, not too little. and appropriate for where they currently are) 

additionally, i think it’s unfair to compare them to josie, nico, and the other couples, since at that point in their relationships there was already a stronger emotional foundation. flora and enzo simply aren’t there yet, so the dynamic is bound to feel different rather than comparable. this is also their first time really crossing that line, so the tone is naturally more tentative. i’d still take this emotionally flat kiss over emotionless physical intimacy any day all day in my opinion
          
          i think the first experience of foreplay between them should feel genuinely intimate, because flora deserves that level of care and emotional presence. i wouldn’t want it to come across as purely impulsive or driven by lust on enzo’s part. she deserves something more considered and meaningful. in that sense, the kiss felt like a good middle ground for now (not too much, not too little. and appropriate for where they currently are)