dorcheto

heyyyy

OMGGG UR BDAY IS RIGHT AFTER MINE AND @chwerrypie3 HAS THE SAME BDAY AS URS

I'm gonna cry because why is it so hard to memorize a poem that I have for school and its due tomorrow. I literally memorized it in parts but now I can say it all together. Plus I'm having period cramps and it's the worst timing to be doing anything different than just rotting in bed but it's 10:30pm and I haven't finished the fricking poem :c

Is there a point of living my fricking life? It sucks sm. 
          
          I'm turning 18 next year and I'm not even gonna allowed to understand what it is to actually grow up and not be caried for by my mom. I don't want sm attention I just want to be able to live my life, to be able to travel around Europe by myself it's literally my dream. 
          
          But no my mom told me I can't and threatened me that I'm gonna get kicked out of the house if I want to get out of the country when I turn 18 (like I'm not go anywhere for long term I just want to see other countries).
          My mom just wants to be the main character and says that if I go somewhere she will want to come with me. Like bro lemme grow up, lemme see Europe without anyone to be pissing me off all the time. 
          
          I understand she raised me 16 years but she has to  understand that I'm actually growing up and that i'm not a kid anymore. I have dreams I want to achieve and she ruins everything. :<

I hate my classmates why is everyone so fckng mean to me when I'm always kind to them. I ain't gonna talk to anyone from my class anymore I'm just gonna stop talking to whoever and be the quiet girl I've ever been. I can't take any more attacks targeted at me. 
          
          Yesterday I got attacked by two girls in one of the classes we had and it was with our homeroom teacher and we weren't really doing anything in class so I had my phone with me and I was watching smth on it and two girls snitched on me telling the teacher. But the teacher was lowkey okay with me being on my phone because she likes me as a student since I'm always studying and I have good grades. 
          
          Also smth else happened: Yesterday we had some group project in chemistry class and I had to send the notes I took for this project to the other ppl that were in my group. So a guy from my class who has always been rude and neutral to me started being kind and even complimented my hand writing (I'm not crushing on him ok) and he tagged me asking for those notes in the class gc where the teacher is there too and she saw that and told me I dont have to send anyone anything and she is right and I appreciate that she tried to defend me.
          

yay another esc fan

Omg yalls theme is tuff

Mood swings suck
          
          Wdym I was completely okay a minute ago and I'm so sad rn for no reason :<

Bruh I can't hear anything with one of my ears and I asked my mom to go see a doctor to check that out and to say what could the problem be. 
          
          Like as long as I can remember it has been like that since idk maybe when I was like 9-10yo. I'm not sure but like it's concerning because I can only hear with my left ear and it's not even a normal hearing it's smh like I hear sounds more quietly than they actually are. As if for my right ear I literally can't hear anything, if I cover my left ear (the one I can hear with) I wont be able to hear anything with my left ear at all. Maybe I'll hear some really quiet sounds but nothing else. 

I hate my life. My dad is always calling me fat like okay ik I'm fat can you not point it out. It's ruining my mental health and hurting me sm. :<