Dora

Is there a point of living my fricking life? It sucks sm. 
          
          I'm turning 18 next year and I'm not even gonna allowed to understand what it is to actually grow up and not be caried for by my mom. I don't want sm attention I just want to be able to live my life, to be able to travel around Europe by myself it's literally my dream. 
          
          But no my mom told me I can't and threatened me that I'm gonna get kicked out of the house if I want to get out of the country when I turn 18 (like I'm not go anywhere for long term I just want to see other countries).
          My mom just wants to be the main character and says that if I go somewhere she will want to come with me. Like bro lemme grow up, lemme see Europe without anyone to be pissing me off all the time. 
          
          I understand she raised me 16 years but she has to  understand that I'm actually growing up and that i'm not a kid anymore. I have dreams I want to achieve and she ruins everything. :<

I hate my classmates why is everyone so fckng mean to me when I'm always kind to them. I ain't gonna talk to anyone from my class anymore I'm just gonna stop talking to whoever and be the quiet girl I've ever been. I can't take any more attacks targeted at me. 
          
          Yesterday I got attacked by two girls in one of the classes we had and it was with our homeroom teacher and we weren't really doing anything in class so I had my phone with me and I was watching smth on it and two girls snitched on me telling the teacher. But the teacher was lowkey okay with me being on my phone because she likes me as a student since I'm always studying and I have good grades. 
          
          Also smth else happened: Yesterday we had some group project in chemistry class and I had to send the notes I took for this project to the other ppl that were in my group. So a guy from my class who has always been rude and neutral to me started being kind and even complimented my hand writing (I'm not crushing on him ok) and he tagged me asking for those notes in the class gc where the teacher is there too and she saw that and told me I dont have to send anyone anything and she is right and I appreciate that she tried to defend me.
          

yay another esc fan

Omg yalls theme is tuff

Mood swings suck
          
          Wdym I was completely okay a minute ago and I'm so sad rn for no reason :<

Bruh I can't hear anything with one of my ears and I asked my mom to go see a doctor to check that out and to say what could the problem be. 
          
          Like as long as I can remember it has been like that since idk maybe when I was like 9-10yo. I'm not sure but like it's concerning because I can only hear with my left ear and it's not even a normal hearing it's smh like I hear sounds more quietly than they actually are. As if for my right ear I literally can't hear anything, if I cover my left ear (the one I can hear with) I wont be able to hear anything with my left ear at all. Maybe I'll hear some really quiet sounds but nothing else. 

I hate my life. My dad is always calling me fat like okay ik I'm fat can you not point it out. It's ruining my mental health and hurting me sm. :<

Merry Christmas guys! 
          Hope y'all have a great day and get nice presents
          
          
          I didn't get really good presents, but at least I have the best bff ever @miraculouslyokay. <33
          She is my Christmas present this year :3 ❤
          
          
          

I'm tired of my life :(
          
          My mom just told me I'm not helping her at all when I'm literally doing everything for her whenever she asks me because either she can't or she doesn't understand how. 
          
          We're now on a holiday in Spain and I booked the apartment and plane tickets and she just told me I'm never helping her and that I'm always just being lazy like are we fr rn. And also since she doesn't speak english I have to speak for her and to translate and she doesn't appreciate it ig. :<

Why does packing for a vacation feels so panicking? 
          
          
          I'm like what if I forget smth or should I get this, should I get that. I'm actually gonna freak out I'm leaving on Monday but started packing today because idk. I'll be adding more things like tomorrow night but I feel like I'm gonna forget smth TOT