clodine

Ok, I really need to start reading again 

I think I'm back
          ...
          .
          ...I'm not sure yet

I missed reading on here and interact with the my favorite authors 

Yesterday I spend almost the entire day climbing mountains, at leas five different ones, l don't know I lost count, and my husband had the nerve to wake me up at five this morning talking about he's ready. I was like, ready for what? You better be talking about you ready to dive your head back down south....smh,
          
          Deep sigh, I'm literally sitting on top of this mountain exhausted writing this, 

this is my last weekend at my long boring depressing shift at work at least for a while....
          My husband said he had enough of that shit

If when I hit my fifties with a little bread and have no man, I would be having fun too, who give a fuck how anyone feels about my life,  none of them will be there for me if I would chose to Lock myself in a room and cry all day....

Lmao, since I'm bored with nothing really good to read on here
          Today topic for me to vent on will be, black men, and parents with daughters like me
          
          If from any age  to seventeen years old, my only daughter would  decide to leave our home and move in with  someone way older than her and old enough to be her father, my husband and I would research the law and do whatever it takes to bring our daughter back home and not wait years later after she is grown and going crazy in front of a camera to act like a concerned parent and doing all type of theatrical bullshit. 
          
          If our eighteen years old or older daughter wants to to be with an old man... who are us to stop her... we can only hope we raised her the best way possible for her to be able to make her own decision. 
          
          I'm guessing there's a big difference what name someone call where they kept all their younger girlfriends if they are of different race.
          
          I think it's really easy for us to be in the comfort of our own home and watch a television show and all of a sudden become the judge and jury of someone life without really knowing all the facts 
          I believe, once the camera is rolling, people will let you see whatever they want you to see or know. That's one of the reasons I don't watch reality television anymore
          
          
          
          

Been depressed and losing a love one  is no joke, if I didn't have my made family (meaning my husband and my children) I don't know where would I be today 

I'm sorry, but I feel like venting here to no one in particular but really to myself because this story of Kim and Sean keep getting very interesting to me, and remind me of my similar issues. Since yesterday I saw a picture of Sean sitting near Kim's gravesite looking miserable and depressed, and what he said during the eulogy that Kim will always be with him, for some reason I believe him, if he was truly in love with her like he said... Sometimes there are things in life that keep two people who are in love with each other from been together and only them really know what was going on that kept them apart. 
          Sometimes after moving on with your life and have a brand new family you are truly care about and love, but that person you were or still in love with somehow found their way to your thoughts, you hear them, you feel there presence. Even after they are no longer among the living. You found your wanting to go in their world, to feel what they felt, it is really hard to explain that feeling
          The regrets, the what if, keep lingering in your mind 
          Yeah, if Sean is not putting on a show, he needs to get ready because this is going to be along ride for the rest of his life, and no amount of money in this world can change that, not even a new love interest
           

I just wish black men in America would know how important we (back women) are to them. They took us for granted, cheated on us, some women will go as far as watching their men go through so many women and in some cases men and stick by them even without a ring and when something unfortunates happen to us and they claimed we were their soulmates, how much they love us, ...no mf you need to claim that and show me while I'm still alive, if not you can forever hold your peace.....
          I think God everyday for sending my husband in life, he is not perfect, he is who he is, he never claimed he will be anything more than what he is to me and our children, we play hard, we work hard, we fuck hard and we tried to raise our children with strick rules, that's all I can ask for