You know ....there's rps you wait hours for a response for and ...they never respond cause they forget about you ....and it hurts like a knife stabbed through my heart the blood dripping like candle wax as a Edgar Allen poe said I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.