IGomplaeuStayOdon

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I love little kids that share too much information. Today a girl came into my shop and I said "I like your dress" and she said "Thanks my Mom stole from Target."
          
          Things are shaping up to be pretty FUCK
          
          There was this fucking guy in my math class who was really annoying and always said "Stop killing trees" because I used a lot of paper for sketching and one day he was fussing and I had had EnOuGh of his shit so I just yelled "Can someone tell the Goddamn Lorax to shut the hell up!" And the teacher looked like he was about to Fucking lose it.
          
          Man: Has anyone ever told you that you are beautiful?
          Me: Oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papa forbade mirriors in the household, lest we fall victim to vanity. 
          
          I knew this guy in middke school and whenever he was askes what he wanted to do in life, even by teachers or counselors l, he would without fail recite: KICK ASS, GO TO SPACE,  REPRESENT THE HUMAN RACE. I wonder what he's up to these days.

IGomplaeuStayOdon

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*texting*
          Make that bed or Satan will own your soul.
          It's already made.
          I'm happy for your soul.
          Thanks, Dad.
          
          *texting*
          Which movie do you like better, Paranormal Activity 2 or Nemo?
          Uh Paranormal, DUH. Nemo is retarded. Hello?
          Hi this is your GF's brother and I think you should hide. She was heading to your house with a bat. 
          Too late. She just kicked down the door. 
          Good luck bro.
          
          Being a writer is easy, it's like riding a bike. But, the bike is on fire, everything's on fire and your in hell
          
          The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.
          
          If you can't blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit.
          
          There's nothing physically stopping you from throwing furniture around, just social constructs and your own cowardice.
          
          Grandad built this house with his own hands kids. Most people use bricks but not Grandad. He thought his hands were bricks.

IGomplaeuStayOdon

Homework? Decent grades? The bible said Adam and Eve not Adam and Achieve.
          
          Don't be a religious suburban white mom about it.   Don't tell me what to do?? I'm taking this to the school board.   Knocks 13x9 brownie pan off the bakesale table: Fight me Helen.
          
          Where a grad student becomes a supervillain for extra credit since their entire doctoral committee is lowkey three of the city's supervillains. They meet the hero who is cute and charming and idealistic and damn, extra credit is so not worth this, but damn, grad school is expensive and the job market is competitive.  "There's good in you" "I really think all that's in me at this point is ramen, redbull, and spite."   "My question is, what happened to turn you to the dark side?" "I failed." " Who did you fail? Yourself? Your family? Your lover?" "No. Developmental Biology."
          
          *texting*
          What are you doing?
          Laying in bed
          Nothing else, just laying in bed?
          I'm eating cereal
          Haha nice. What would you do if I was in the bed next to you?
          Eat my cereal
          Lol I mean if the cereal wasn't there 
          Then I'd get out of bed and go get some cereal
          
          *texting*
          What's white and can't climb trees?
          Me.
          That's so much better than refrigerator.