"1-2-3-4 how many hoes are in my store?  I knoo yer stealingg"

(I changed it to hoes on purpose)

"Chris? Is that a weed?"
"No, it's a crayon"
"I'm calling the police"
*dials 9-1-1 on microwave*
"9-1-1 what's your emergency?"

"Mary is that a police? I'm calling the weed!"
*dials 4-2-0 in microwave*
"4-2-0 what's your emergency?"