Rough Draft for next idea:
“Gather ‘round, children. For I shall tell you the story of the great divide. Once upon a time, a long time ago, God and the angels were living happily together in heaven. But, all of a sudden, Lucifer, God’s favorite, decided to rebel against God’s ways. A whole two-thirds of God’s angels went against him! So, in response, God created hell and rebuked his angels into the fiery underworld. Lucifer became the king of hell, making him and all of the people around him burn in the burning pits. They now suffer eternally. The end!” The seraphim closes his book, only to be met with the sobs of children. “Did I say something wrong…?”
After Sunday school, one of the angels goes up to their mother and asks “mommy? Am I gonna go to hell?” Their mother gasps.
“Oh no sweetie! Only evil and sinful beings go to hell…like Satan. I bet he’s burning right now.”
*cut to the screams of Satan, pan out to him in bed, on top of a succubus*
Lucifer rolls off of the succubus and lays on his back, grabbing a cigarette. The succubus stares at him in admiration.
“Oh, dearie. You look-“
“Leave.”
“Huh?”
“Get out of my office. Grab your sh*t. Don’t contact me.”
“Jeez, suga. I’m goin’ now.” She grabs her clothes and storms out of the room. Just another typical day for Satan. The rest of the year continues as usual. Until he gets a call from the succubus.
“Who is this?”
“The succubus you ba-“
“I thought I told you to not call this number again.”
“But-“ He slams the phone down. The phone rings again.
“What do you-“ He yells.
“I’m pregnant.” She says. He blanks.
“What…? But that’s impossi-“
“Yeah, I thought so too. I’m thinkin’ off aborting it. No child can thrive down he-“
“No! I mean… just… keep it. This could be a sign. He shall be the heir to the throne. He’ll be…the miracle hell needs.”
I know it’s bad rn. Trust the process.
