el1sab3th_h

Lol I was looking at the people I follow and saw you. I remembered I followed you because of your great profile pic.

 hello there, i would like to say if you could  please check out my book ‘soulmates’ i am currently editing and finalising and making it better but it would mean the world if it got more views as i put my heart and soul into every chapter and thoroughly would be grateful if you took the time, but afcourse you dont have to! <3

Hai there Elisabeth. 
          
          If you are interested in reading badass horror content, this will be the book for you.
          
          http://my.w.tt/UiNb/23r9TdW5jE

Hey, I saw your post.
          
          These forums might help.
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/forums/vanilla/discussion/1153650/find-an-editor-refresh-due-27-01-17
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/forums/vanilla/discussion/1145946/find-a-beta-reader-here-refresh-due:-1st-december2016
          
          I did read the first part of your story. It's hard to judge based off of one chapter. What I can comment on is your dialogue. I'll give you a few examples of the mistakes and tips to accompany it.
          
          "Remember it's not real." he whispers, perhaps a little nervously.
          
          If you're using 'he/she says or <- other replacements such as 'asks' etc, there should be a comma instead of a full-stop.
          
          "Remember it's not real," he whispers, perhaps a little nervously.
          
          If you are continuing on the dialogue, a comma is placed at the end before the fresh dialogue and there is no capital letter for the continuation dialogue. 
          
          e.g "Remember it's not real," he whispers, perhaps a little nervously, "please don't forget that."
          
          Use a full-stop when it's not a continuation but a new sentence. 
          
          E.g "Remember it's not real," he whispers, perhaps a little nervously. "Let's get started."
          
          If there is an action after the dialogue you use a full-stop rather than a comma.
          
          "Remember it's not real." He picks up the script. 
          
          But it's better to construct the sentence with the action first in this case. 
          -> He picks up the script. "Remember it's not real."
          
          Grammar wise, I can help you out. Just let me know. Your plot sounds really interesting. Happy writing!