Hi bug! First off for your new story I really think you should use POVs because it helps the reader understand who's mind is talking.. If u read some stories you might notice that.. Also I think that when ur writing you say, "You said" when ur talking and if it were in your POV then u could say "I said" or if it were in Andrews then you could say "she said" or "Tori said" oh and one more thing, add more commas because u have ALOT of run on sentences.. Other wise I AM IN LOVE WITH UR STORY ❤️❤️❤️ and ur doing a great job!! :)
-Noodleberg