emptyblue

Be tired. Be tired of chasing him. Be tired of loving him. Be tired of waiting for him. Be exhausted. Be tired. Mapagod ka na self. Pagod ka na di ba? Pagod ka na. Tama na. Tapos na. Tama na, okay? Tama na.

It was good talking with you. I miss you. How I wanted to say I miss you so bad but I never did. All I wanted was to spend time talking to ypu nonsense at the phone. Hearing your voice made me alive. Just wanna listen into your convo with your colleagues. I miss you. For the 10th time,you answered my call. Then, 2nd time by the 10th time ypu answered me. We talked and laughed about random things. I miss you. I really do. I just wanna let you answer me even if your in your colleagues drinking out, I wanna just hear your voice. All I wanna do was listen to you. But by the 30th time, I called you, you cancel my call and blocked me. For the nth time, here I am again. Blocked. Was it too hard to answer my call and just tell me to stop calling? Or was I too annoying? Am I? How can I be? It was just my 3rd time calling you this month. I never disturb you all through out, from February. I am now here again in this situation. Crying. F*** up. When will I get tired of forcing myself in to you? 

Undang na ta. Puyo na. Ana ko kapoy na ngano nibalik paman ko ngani oyy. Ka hasol ba. Di ko iro para sigeg gukod oyy. Di na angay sumpayan ky gasakit sakit raman kos akong kaugalingon ba

13:42 just of today, 1 missed call and 1 text. Gihuna huna pa nakog maayo ngano wala ko kadungog ba ky nakatulog man diay ko. Ni reply ko mga 17 nas orasan maoto storya ta pero wa naman spark oy. Botbot na gyud kaayo ang tanan. Wala najud. Wala najud ky himuon oyy para nato. Kapoy naman jud. Bitaw ni asa ko pero karon na eng ani, dapat jud nako gamiton ug ayo akong utok ayyy. Di gyud ta pirmi mag sigeg dughan ug kabuotan pairalon ky mo gara raman tanan padulong. Sa kadugayan karon pajud ko nimo nadumduman? Hoooy. Simbako. Ngano man? Nagabaan naka?

I wished to have just died so I could no longer feel this pain. I know I'm alive but I don't deserve to feel this pain anymore. I thought 2018 and 2019 had already given me so much. How could the start of 2020 give me so much blast of pain and heartache? Literally and emotionally. 

I saw him with another woman on his motorcycle. I didn't he was on town. We didn't have a fight before that day and I wasn't inform he will be in town. What suddens me is the fact that my heart hurts and my mind eats up my insecurity. This kill me bigtime. I hate it. 

Eversince I took a photo of us last December 2017 and you just showed me that you don't wanna have a photo with me, I never dared to take a photo with us on my phone. Just so fvk up of being rejected by you, I guess.

Masakit yung puso ko. Hindi ko alam ba't ganito. Ito yata yung part kung saan mag-let go na lang tayo eh. Baka nga hindi talaga tayo,tapos ako lang yung pilit ng pilit para magkaroon ng ta'yo.

Pare-pareho nga lang talaga ang mga lalaki. Siguro isa sa isang libo na lang ang katulad ni Papa. Makakahanap pa kaya ako ng tulad ni Papa? 

Right after tikiman, iiwan na. Titikim,tatalikod tapos aalis. Mang iiwan na.