ender

that brings me back to wattpad. i know my account has been dormant, and some of you may have noticed that all my old stories are gone. don’t worry—I didn’t lose everything. i saved many of my older works, and i’m going to be reworking and polishing them before posting them again. they deserve better than the rushed drafts i shared back then, and i want to give them the love and attention they need to shine.
            
            alongside those older stories, i have so many new ideas i can’t wait to explore. over the years, i’ve kept writing in my own way—poems, fanfictions, lyrics, and even entirely new stories that have been simmering in my mind, waiting for the right moment to be shared. that moment is now.
            
            but i’ll be honest: wattpad isn’t the same as it used to be. the magic of the old days—the excitement of uploading a new chapter and seeing all your comments and thoughts come pouring in—feels harder to find. i don’t know if it’ll ever feel quite like it did back then, but i want to try to rekindle that spark.
            
            i also wanted to mention that i have an account on ao3 now. if any of you are on there, too, i’d love to connect! feel free to share your usernames with me so we can support each other’s work there as well.
            
            over the next few weeks, i’ll be cleaning up my account and preparing to start posting again. i want this space to feel like a fresh start, while still honoring the journey that got me here. i hope you’ll join me on this next chapter of my creative life, and i’d love to hear from you—what you’ve been up to, what stories you’re excited for, and how we can rebuild this community together.
            
            thank you for your patience, your support, and for being here—even if you’ve moved on or forgotten about me. i’m back, and i’m ready to share my heart with you all again.
            
            stay tuned. things are about to get exciting.
            
            with love and endless gratitude,
            ender 

through all of this, i’ve been battling anxiety, self-doubt, and the pressure of trying to be independent in a world that often feels overwhelming. but then, i met someone who changed everything. my fiancé, jon, has been my rock—kind, supportive, and always reminding me that i have stories worth telling. moving across the country to be with him has been one of the scariest and most rewarding things i’ve ever done. i’m finally in a place where i can start focusing on what brings me joy again.

but you're definitely cooler 

@tellmytelephone ToT tyyyyyy <3

@cazuulio my thoughts exactly and people wonder why CCs have anxiety, say they dislike their fame, and sometimes mention not being happy with everyone in their "fanbase"

@enderblur ;; this is just disgusting and terrible. i can’t even put into words how sick to the stomach this makes me feel??? what the fuck is wrong with people.

when wilbur soot (tommy's idol, best friend, and basically the older brother tommy never had) caught wind of this, he immediately spoke to tommy and tommy's parents and tommy will be safely staying with him during the time of his birthday, and tommy's parents are to take legal action and maybe even have a police detail watching their home for people who actually do find them and try to show up. however, even this backfired because some people have said that from vlogs they know the general area tommy is in, and now all they have to do is find what house is being watched by police. so his family and home might not be safe. 
            
            and this really has me seething. i am beyond done with the fanbase. i obviously know not everyone is obsessive, creepy, and deranged like this. but i'm just done.  (3/3) 

@cazuulio     idfkkkk i- there's stufff going on that has me freaking out mentally

@cazuulio     they tried to set up lying about this the other day when they mentioned dissociation but it's like they don't know that you can dissociate without any serious mental health issues

@cazuulio     also they're a little younger than me, and they claim to have multiple seperate alters with distinct names and personalities and ages and that's something that doesn't really happen in young people DID in younger people isn't seperate like that, it's hard for people not in their mid twenties or older to be diagnosed because of this. and the words they used weren't words you'd use to describe it, like they only started using the word fronting after i said it to them, and they basically just agreed with or resaid things i would say. plus their alters and the personalities they gave them sound like cliche tropes

@cazuulio     someone i used to talk to, recently reached out and they apparently forgot that i'm versed in DID facts and culture from a false diagnosis when i was little (i told them about it ages ago and how i have an OSDD/DDNOS) and so them literally faking it is so obvious and then they were asking me about their DID as if to test what would be believable it was so funny to me

( @enderblur ) i don’t think you’re being dramatic, i think you’re being negatively logical (that sounds so rude). logic is a really weird thing, because it really depends on how you look at the “logical” thing. i tend to also look at things in a negative but logical way — it’s pretty normal, i’d assume.
            
            i’m not even legally old enough to drink, i don’t go to parties…i’m also very introverted (13% extraverted). being introverted has absolutely nothing wrong with it. some people just really irritate me.
            
            i’d say probably try to get out of that household as quick as you can.

@juniperexel     i know that i just need to power through and not get so paranoid about it but i'm really done with it all and i feel like it's fight or flight at this point. because they're saying that the way i am/things i like aren't normal (because i don't drink or party and i'm introverted) and they're saying they want to get me psychiatric help. but i'm afraid and i don't want to be turned into an example of a nutcase because i like being to myself or with people i actually like and not these people. 
            
            i need to get out of this household before they ruin me or i do something i regret. 
            
            idk i'm just being dramatic though. 

( @enderblur ) i’m so sorry end, that’s terrible. i can’t really predict the future, but maybe something won’t happen. paranoia and anxiety is so common, and most times, the two things combined can just cause more confusion and destruction than the problem itself.
            
            and maybe, this time (“another”), it won’t be as bad, or even bad at all. reflecting off of negative viewpoints makes you think more negatively rather than positively. don’t waste your time thinking negatively of this, get your mind off it, do something you enjoy, yeah?
            
            don’t be scared…even if something does happen, it’ll all be fine eventually. 
            it seems like a lie, but everything settles some day and then and then new problems spring up again.

@toshiyas1over i think it was back when guzmasboi had more than one story tbh

@enderblur thank you! And tbh I don’t even remember but I’m guessing I’ve been following it for a while cause I haven’t really followed anyone recently, i don’t really check my notifs that often but when I did your profile was the first thing I saw so I checked it out 

@toshiyas1over three things: one) love your pfp, two) omg thanks, three) how did you find my account i'm genuinely curious

@ENZERDRAGON STOP IM GONNA CRY /POS