@enzoverlice
I know you stopped writing 'The priest' but I just wanted to tell you that if something sounds or feels predictable it's probably because,
A. you wrote it.
or
B. you read it over and over again!
just some writing advice I found and thought to share!
To say the least, for a first attempt, this isn't a bad book,I'm really enjoying this, though don't be pressured, you have all the time in the world!
You're making me really excited to know how the next chapters are going to be like!
My thoughts while reading both chapter 6 & 7:
1. Wait... I don't understand... I'm confused...
2. Oh... So ludwing's mother was an atheist and his father was a priest...
3. Oh..oh! ...OH THAT'S MESSED UP..... 'WE'RE SAFE NOW'? DAFAQ?
4. Dude, you were told you were gonna be harmed bro...
5. Well, ya broke ya foot... ya denges.
6. Heaven? With what you did? Honey aren't you forgetting the fact that you killed people for fun?
7. Someone finally woke up...
8. Silhouette? Who dem is?
9. Ellie? SERIOUSLY LIKE LUDWING SAID, HOW ARE YOU HERE? AIN'T YOU DEAD?
10. hmmm......Theory time...
Anyway,
I liked the chapters, and by my reactions that I write for you to see, you'll know that I wasn't expecting most of the plot, so I think you have a talent in writing the unexpected, if you're going to continue to move the plot forward I suggest that you know how foreshadow some of the plot in an interesting way;
of course you can use it now, but I think the people who read the book would be confused and think you're going too fast, unless you can pull it off,
But I'd rather know what's going on in chapter 7 and what's to come from chapter 8 & 9, I want explanation on as to how Ellie is "Alive".
That concludes my thoughts on your book (for now)!
@ omie_nom yeah I should probably avoid it XD I'll try and make it more intense, and make more sense in the next few chapters
@RobinArtzy Uh, like foreshadowing is used for plot twists so, you don't have to use them... Many people can be bad at it, so they avoid it..... Sometimes like the plague... But as I said, uh, you don't have to use foreshadowing of you don't want/need to.
@ omie_nom died reading your reactions. Yeah I'm figuring out things as I go forward so things may be a bit confused (or a lot) I'm about to go write the next chapter so I can fill you up later
I don't get what I should foreshadow tho or how to do that so idk...
Anyway thank you for still reading my book (you'll get an explanation next chapter about Ellie tho)
My thoughts throughout the last three chapters:
1. Oh.my.God Ellie is gonna burn, No one will help her....
2. yes, Ellie, pray that this monster will suffer
3. ELLIE NO!
4.LUDWING YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF
5. Oooohhh~ shadow~
6. OH OH OH! YES! 7 DAYS TO LIVE BABY! YOU GONNA BE TORTURED SON!
But.seriously, I can't find the reason *why* I like the story so much... It's a bit weak in driving the reader to it, and sometimes kinda makes them bored reading it, but the plot is interesting enough to want to come back every now and then and know more about the story,
But keep at it Robin, I'll be right behind ya!
@ omie_nom your so sweet thank you
It really does mean a lot! And yeah, it's not really easy to help if you don't know how the plot will evolve. I'll try and make the story at least make sense. And this is not gonna be 50 chapters either
But I really appreciate you for just talking with me, I'm not that used to this app and usually only talk with people on Instagram and stuff. But I'm really greatful that you take your time! Thank you
@RobinArtzy And I can understand being new to writing and not really knowing how to create tension, but don't let that stop you from continuing the story you want to create, I'll be here reading your story and I'll give you feedback! It might not be instant, but let me help you achieve the satisfaction of writing a story you are proud of! And please remember, If no one is there to support you then I'm here!
@RobinArtzy I am not really a writer... More Of a reader, I don't really know what I can help you with, and your spelling is alright!!! Don't worry about that! And honestly, if you want to make a comic then I suggest to get at least the prologue in (the first five chapters you did are enough), And I don't mind you rambling, in fact, I want you to rambling as much as you want, your thoughts are interesting to hear! I do have a tendency to think of a plot, but if I don't know what's to come nor can I imagine it, then I am to no use... (I have an odd vocabulary)
You made two intriguing chapters!
I would like to see how good you are this, so please by all means, continue!
@ omie_nom thank you soo much, that means so much I will next chapter will be out on Monday, hope you like that as well