mya..?

:)

i have no followers so i dont have any shame from what im about to say .
          
          i have such a fucked up life to the point where im so used to being neglected i search for it in relationships. its actually sickening and whenever i tell my friends about it they dont listen and usually js try and tell me i dont, ive been in an abusive relationship before so i know what its like. for the past few months ive been thinking and like i fantasize being hurt by my s/o and its lowk scary like i wrote abt this in my hello kitty notebook but idk like i dream of a guy stomping me out and calling me a worthless bitch and recently whenever a guys been rude to me id start falling for them, and when guys kick or hit me i like it idk i like being hit by them i want them to control my life and hurt me whenever i dont listen..i wanna be humiliated dehumanized treatng like nothing but a worthless item to only be used as pleased..but at the same time i want them to reassure me and cuddle me after then go back to neglecting me.. heh is this just a degrading kink or masochism

hi chat