eternal_solace

prune time (fell asleep in the bathtub)

Sahilvd237

@eternal_solace Exhausted?
• Reply

eternal_solace

i feel so ill sometimes. want to rip my hair out. sleep on the sofa instead of my room for whatever reason. nervous about things that i could have easily done before. throw out my slippers and shoes in the bin because just looking at them fills me with dread and i've no idea why. there might as well me eyes on every item in my house because it's creeping me out. i'll be on hiatus. i say hiatus, but really, given my lack of decent health i'm just going to quit, until i come back like a whiny little kid asking to be let back in again.

Sahilvd237

@eternal_solace Life reveals itself in strange phases sometimes.
• Reply

eternal_solace

recently i've had a misanthropic spiral and i can't help but see everything in a bitter light. it's really quite jarring for me because i'm usually far more optimistic, but right now, to be completely honest, all i can do is hate.

eternal_solace

i'm not so sure why i'm so angry at every little thing because my work and life has actually gotten easier for the time being. 
            
            i was thinking of leaving writing and this site as well, but we'll see.
• Reply

Hanapiko1453

Hello Solace, 
          
          It has been a while! How are you doing?

eternal_solace

@Hanapiko1453 omg yay! haha, that's great! now it's just final exams to focus on then (right? i've no idea which schooling system you're doing, sorry). you've got this!
• Reply

Hanapiko1453

@eternal_solace Oop I meant to @ you but I forgot on the previous message
• Reply

Hanapiko1453

Hello hello!!! I am doing good. I am happy you are doing good  The college application period finally finished lol! So happy I’m over it now.
• Reply

eternal_solace

i distinctly remember how i used to brush my hair obsessively to try and ignore my hunger. oh the world of being in an all girls school. dandruff and i were like friends with benefits. of all things, it was some kid saying it looked like i'd swam in desiccated coconut that made me stop doing that. i will never quite get over the delivery of that. regardless, despite not sneezing, that comment was a blessing.

Sahilvd237

@eternal_solace haha!
• Reply

eternal_solace

i always talk about things as if everything's nuanced and the irony in that is that that isn't a very nuanced view. how terribly unfortunate.

Sahilvd237

@eternal_solace interesting perspective!
• Reply

eternal_solace

i love this place because at times it feels like a weirdly crowded elevator where everyone's talking about interesting things
• Reply

eternal_solace

i wonder how aquaman feels when a bird poops over the ocean
• Reply

eternal_solace

am i losing my edge or have i just become content?

eternal_solace

i can't remember when it turned from post-its needing to be perfectly aligned against page to a failure and a rejection just being average in my day and yet i am not unhappy with who i am despite who i thought i'd be, because in the end i feel as though i am working to who i want to be in a different way than i'd envisioned, and maybe it's okay that everything isn't done to a t because whoever said that you need to 100% everything forgot that you're supposed to do that for the things that truly matter to you to avoid burn out, to avoid hating a part of you that never had their heart in it, and i learned that for me, a grade in red did not matter. other than that, my lack of proper grammar and sentence structure does matter to me, and this wall of text will be heavily scrutinised later for either mickery, batcrap fuel, colossal cringe or will simply be scrolled away as another ramble of mine that happened to be documented and posted onto the internet forever and ever. no worries at all. 
            
            good night, and in case i don't see you, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening.
• Reply