eunhagalaxy_

You're the cause of my euphoria♡

eunhagalaxy_

this message may be offensive 
It's six in the morning.
          6 o'clock.
          6am.
          
          "Six. Six. Six."
          
          My eyes won't shut, my brain won't shut.
          Nothing works and nothing's right.
          There's that black feeling again.
          It's so early in the morning, or maybe it's too late. And I'm sad because of you.
          One would wonder why, right?
          
          "I wonder why, too."
          
          I wonder many things.
          I type your name on my phone by accident,
          And I hate myself.
          Maybe I'm thinking about you,
          and maybe, that's why I can't sleep.
          
          "Is it you?"
          
          "Is it your fault?" "No, it's mine"     
          
          "Are you still here, with me?" "No, you aren't anymore"
          
          My eyes blur-
          
          "Are those tears?
          Or is it you?"
          
          I don't feel safe anymore.
          I don't feel confident anymore.
          My head hurts like there was an explosion inside of it.
          
          "Is it you? Right?"
          
          I'm anxious.  
          
          "I bother everyone, don't I?"
          
          I don't know who I  am. 
          And I don't know who you are but make me feel like...nothing.
          I deserve it, I really deserve it.
          It hurts. Emptiness, I mean.
          
          "Is it my fault?
          Or is it you?"
          
          You tried to make me strong. And happy, too.
          But I'm not strong. And I'm not happy.
          I failed. I failed because I'm weak.
          
          "If I tried for real I wouldn't be failing, would I?"
          "I bet not." 
          
          If I wanted to stop crying, I would.
          
          How do I even stop what I haven't started?
          
          Fuck. I can't listen to that song.
          
          "Is it the song?
          Or is it you?"
          
          And you tell me you love me.
          You love me before you fall asleep.
          You love me when you dream of me.
          You love me when you wake up.
          But do you love the real me?
          What's the version of me you love?
          Nah. You don't love me anymore.
          
          "But who am I?"
          
          Am I a concoction of all of these versions of me people have in their minds?
          
          Life's so pointless. Isn't it?
          
          "Life is pointless."
          
          Though... 
          "Is it life?
          Or is it you?"