this message may be offensive
hi i know i havent updated but lifes been something !!! law school sucks and ive just been going through shit so heres a small bit until i force myself to go back to write
would you accept my apology if i ripped out my own heart and handed it to you, happily dying because it was through an attempt to make you smile. i haven’t been doing that lately, and you can curse me out all you want for that, you can yell and fight and break my poor heart thousand times over if you must, but please look at me baby, just look at me the same.
look at me with those eyes which shine brighter than the sun, the stars and the moon, make me feel at home.
have i ever had a home?
was it a home when i was on my knees, begging the heavens above to take me home, when i was on the floor of my room, the walls around me closing in? was it a home when there was no space to breathe?
i’ve always known peace as a raging war, drawing blood at every chance you get. would the unfamiliarity of quiet justify the destruction of your beautiful soul? would it explain why i had to tear apart your heart to bring peace to my own?
can i say it’s the distance which is keeping you out of reach when a part of me knows its the walls i have put up. can i say that it’s just the distance which breaks us when i know it’s the monster inside me, breaking you down before i unravel at your touch, before you see who i really am.
would you stay then?